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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/rrajaniemi
Review Requests: OFF
187 Public Reviews Given
187 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I tend to say what I like about it and what I don't and check for grammar mistakes.
I'm good at...
Finding grammar mistakes. Giving my view of the work.
Favorite Genres
War related and travel.
Least Favorite Genres
Dark, Erotica
Favorite Item Types
Short stories.
Least Favorite Item Types
Poems.
I will not review...
Anything 18+ or above. Anything with or pertaining erotica.
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review by Kai Rajaniemi Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Grammar: I found no grammatical errors in this piece. Great job!
I enjoyed your story but will not comment on it further than that. The story was good, the shortness of it was good because the storyline was there. God bless and I hope you have a wonderful life.
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Review by Kai Rajaniemi Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I'm so sorry to hear about your brother's death. I too lost a family member and know what it feels like. Stay strong and don't give up. Thank you for sharing this with us, as it could help someone else in their time of need. Your brother didn't die in vain, many people will learn from this.
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Review by Kai Rajaniemi Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (2.5)
Grammar: "that illuminated by the gas streetlights that lined the walkway."
I don't think you need 'that' in front of 'illuminated'. I think it sounds fine without it.
'magical, as'
I wouldn't think you need the comma.
"short quick steps"
Need a comma between short and quick.
"hand full."
Should be handful.

It's a good story, but I don't know if it's just me on drugs or if it's just really confusing to follow.
4
4
Review of Pathologized Love  Open in new Window.
Review by Kai Rajaniemi Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Grammar: I didn't find any grammatical errors, but I would like to point out that you repeated yourself a lot in this story.
I liked the story line and how sad it is that he was brought into the hospital just for loving someone. Maybe I read wrong, but that's what it sounded like to me. It was a wonderful story though, so great work!
5
5
Review of Innocent Mistake  Open in new Window.
Review by Kai Rajaniemi Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Grammar: I didn't find any mistakes. Great job!

I was intrigued by your story, though I'd like to know what a Grange is. *Laugh* And you say this is a true story? Very well written to me. I guess the only thing I might change is to put the punctuation marks inside the quotation marks. It may not be wrong, it's just what I'm used to. Happy writing!
6
6
Review of Quick thoughts  Open in new Window.
Review by Kai Rajaniemi Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Grammar: Your punctuation doesn't have to have a space between it.
"where you'd put there feelings before your own"
Their, not there.
"How would you know if your in love"
You're, not your.

I agree with your thoughts. I've been and am in love with someone. My ex boyfriend broke up with me a few months ago after he found out my sexual orientation and yes there was heart break, if only temporary. I don't know your age, but the advice I have is this. If you choose to fall in love, just remember that not every relationship is perfect. But there are good times to be had. *Smile*
7
7
Review by Kai Rajaniemi Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Grammar: "She new exactly why he was so sad."
Should be knew not new.
"If anyone felt crushed by his death its me."
Should be it's.
"his advice and most of all I miss how he showed how much he much he loved me."
Might want to revise.
" john's father"
Capitalize John.
"you're Son."
Your not You're.
Please watch your punctuation and spelling. I've seen quite a few mistakes.

The storyline was relatively simple, but the message was clear to me. I know what it's like to lose someone. I lost my grandfather to a heart attack last July, so I can feel the boy's pain. Thank you for sharing this story and I hope this review helped! *Smile*
8
8
Review by Kai Rajaniemi Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Grammar: Nothing wrong that I saw.
This was...interesting to say the least. *Laugh* But well written if I do say so myself. An interesting way to express animal's feelings for other animals. I like how you did it like a YouTube channel. "Don't forget to like me or subscribe." Great writing! Keep it up! *Smile*
9
9
Review by Kai Rajaniemi Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Grammar: "Tack to the port!" May want to change it to "Take to the port!"
Thus began the use of lighthouses. It's like having a powerful flashlight that is used to show the way in the dark of night.
May want to indent.
It stood 1500 years until it was destroyed by an earthquake."
Take off the end quotations.

This was very interesting! Thanks for sharing and keep up the great work! *Smile*
10
10
Review of To Catch a Child  Open in new Window.
Review by Kai Rajaniemi Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I absolutely love this story. The only thing I would consider, is spacing out his thoughts from the paragraphs to make it easier to read, and also double space it. You did a wonderful job executing this from the mind of a kidnapper, but surprised me with the heart of someone who cares to help someone like that. Keep writing. *Smile*
11
11
Review of Lonely  Open in new Window.
Review by Kai Rajaniemi Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is so how I feel a lot of the time. You're not alone. *Hug*
12
12
Review of In Rome in1965  Open in new Window.
Review by Kai Rajaniemi Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Grammar: "In Italy, in the summer of 1965, I met a girl in a black bathing suit with a lacy décolletage."
I'm not saying this is wrong, but it might sound better if you took out the "in" after Italy.
Other than that I saw nothing wrong with it. This was very interesting to read and I thank you for sharing it.

Other notes: Something to consider is chopping it into separate paragraphs and double spacing it. It will be easier to read. *Smile*
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13
Review of The night before  Open in new Window.
Review by Kai Rajaniemi Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Grammar: "With all of the money collected this day." Too many spaces. "The shoppers will spend without care or thought
And hope that their friends will like what they bought." I think it might be better with a comma after thought.
Other than that, it was an enjoyable read. Well done and keep writing!
14
14
Review by Kai Rajaniemi Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Grammar: I feel that with commas this piece would run a lot more smoothly. Other than that I found this poem rather interesting and found it to be something along the lines of what stress feels like to me as well. I could feel myself being pulled into your poem, and I like that. Great job and keep up the great work!
15
15
Review of How To Meditate  Open in new Window.
Review by Kai Rajaniemi Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Grammar: I found nothing grammatically wrong with this piece, so great job on that.
I enjoyed reading this poem and I'm not much into poetry. I will actually have to try this one day and see if I can get myself to relax one in a while. :) Great job and keep up the great work!
16
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Review by Kai Rajaniemi Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Grammar: I found no grammar mistakes in this piece, so well done with that.
I love the way you explained this and I learned quite a bit from it. I also found it interesting and the fact that this can be applied to daily life is interesting in itself. I think if I could pick on anything, it would be to double space the words so they are easier to read. Thank you for sharing this, and keep writing!
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17
Review of Imaginary Friends  Open in new Window.
Review by Kai Rajaniemi Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
I love this poem! It's so true for me, and I know that may sound stupid, but it's true. Anyway...I love it and hope to see more in the future!
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Review by Kai Rajaniemi Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Grammar: frustrate should be frustrated. The only other thing I would have to say is the punctuation. Watch your periods and your commas.
Other than that, it is a wonderful thing you have written. It touched me in a great way, and I thank you for sharing this with us. I lost one of the most important people in my life a couple of months ago, and it was hard, but this is very inspiring. Great job and keep up the good work!
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Review by Kai Rajaniemi Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Grammar: "I prepared for worst I did not know what to expect." Might be better: "I prepared for the worst as I did not know what to expect."
Other than this one thing, I saw nothing wrong with it. Thank you for sharing such a priceless thing with us. It has taught me a lot on love. I know this must have been hard for you. God bless you and everything you do.

Rebecca
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Review by Kai Rajaniemi Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Grammar: "They are expecting us. Inside, and you can see quite a bit from the road to the gates, inside, there is a party, with lots of laughter."
I think it should go something like this instead: "They are expecting us inside and you can see quite a bit from the road to the gates. Inside, there is a party with lots of laughter."
Other than that I see nothing else wrong with this piece. It is well written in my opinion and I enjoyed reading it. Keep up the good work!
21
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Review by Kai Rajaniemi Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Grammar: When you start a conversation, I think every " " should start with a capital letter. Other than that it looks good.
This one was pretty funny too. I like cats.... keep up the good work!
22
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Review of Skiing  Open in new Window.
Review by Kai Rajaniemi Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Grammar: Should be shining, not shinning. Watch the punctuation.
I thought this one was funny and enjoyed reading it. Good job and keep it up!
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Review of Number Ten  Open in new Window.
Review by Kai Rajaniemi Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Grammar: Knowing well, one chickens fate (put an apostrophe in chickens),
So, with his bare hands

He began chasing the hens

As they scattered around the pens. (Somewhere in here there needs to be a comma. Right now it seems like a "run on sentence"), Same for the bottom half of it.

I do like this poem. I thought it was very amusing. Other than that, I personally don't see anything else wrong with it. Happy writing!
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24
Review of Open World  Open in new Window.
Review by Kai Rajaniemi Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Grammar: JiImmy should be Jimmy; "Hey Jimmy why don't you go home to your mommy and cry about life" there should be a question mark at the end. He (should be lowercase);
Strongest Point(s): The strongest points of this to me were the emotion and storytelling aspects of it. With a few tweaks this would make for a really good story.
Weakest Point(s): The grammar aspect of it. I think with a little more proofreading it would be better. I also think that if you put the dialogue like:
"Mom did you ever try to make it work with you and dad?"
The mother replies " yeah, but your father wouldn't stop getting into trouble so they locked him up and it's been a while since i've seen him"
Sort of something like that.

I hope this helped! Write on!
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25
Review of Expecto Patronum!  Open in new Window.
Review by Kai Rajaniemi Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Amber says that was amazing and gorgeous and wonder and perfect x2
I'm fanning myself right now in admiration.......
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