Disclaimer:
This review is just my humble opinion, with the purpose of giving honest, encouraging feedback from an avid readers point of view. I don’t pay much attention to grammar and punctuation. Just on content.
First impressions:
Very simple, clear. An easy read with good rhyme. Rhyme does not feel forced, good flow
Feelings:
You got a huge smile out of me at the end. Very nice play on words.
Visuals:
Nice imagery
Technicalities:
I did not notice any typos nor do I have any suggestions.
Overall Thoughts:
Everything was simple to follow and understand and the flow was smooth from beginning to end without any rhymes feeling forced. Love the punch line!
Very nice job indeed
Nice Poem,
Isn't it funny how certain special people can evoke such emotion and feelings in our lives.
Can even inspire you to write your feelings down on paper .I love it.
The overall feeling that i got from this poem was of a person being inspired to express these feeling in any way possible. It was from the heart. And that is where all GOOD writing starts.
Nice Job! Write on
and thanks for the poem
Jack
Disclaimer:
This review is just my opinion as an avid reader. It is meant to be encouraging and helpful.
Overall First Impression/Emotional Impact:
Nice visual, at the end I was feeling kind of cheated by not having more descriptors of "HER". Why was he feeling that way? What happened to her? Did she die? Run away with another man? Waiting for who or what?
Artistic Voice / Visual Imagery:
Very nice visual imagery. you paint a really clear picture with your words that puts the reader right where you want them. Nice job.
Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics:
looks good. I have no suggestions at this time.
Suggestions:
I am probably not qualified to make any because I haven't read many pieces like this. I would personally given more descriptions on the "why" he was feelinh that way.
Disclaimer: This review is just my humble opinion, with the purpose of giving honest, encouraging feedback from an avid readers point of view. I don’t pay much attention to grammar and punctuation. Just on content.
First impressions:
Man I am am going to have to send that to my wife! Maybe she will understand! (no, she won't)
Nice short peom that gets the thought across
Feelings:
Not only could I easily understand the feelings relayed throughout this poem, but I found myself smiling as it stirred up some of my own thoughts and recent discussions with my wife. The reflective tone really made it come to life.
Technicalities:
I did not notice any typos nor do I have any suggestions about content.
Overall Thoughts:
Everything was simple to follow and understand and the flow was smooth from beginning to end without any rhymes feeling forced.
Disclaimer: This review is just my humble opinion, with the purpose of giving honest, encouraging feedback from an avid readers point of view. I don’t pay much attention to grammar and punctuation. Just on content.
Visuals:
had to kind of stop and think about the visuals a few times, but otherwise good job
Technicalities:
The only thing I noticed was on paragraph #4 "The lone wolf whom fights for his right to survive." You might consider switching "who" instead of "whom" and in para #2 "One lone wolf in who rages with hunger." should be "in whom" in my opinion.
Now that is a message I never get tired of hearing.
I like it that you try to get the readers to think eternally instead of temporal.
Even in Christianity this perspective is the exception instead of the norm.
I love the title, and the use of that famous line will help to stick the thought peramently in the readers mind. Not to be ... is not an option.
great job
Write on.
Jack
I can tell that this comes from the heart. Things that are real are very easy to connect with the reader. Frustration! On the verge of resolve while trying to poject total resolve. Resigning yourself to what you believe is the only option. These are just some of the things I am feeling from this piece. That is great, because you want the reader to get emotionally involved in what you are writing. Yet I sense that you could care less about all I just wrote because you just needed to write it down to get it off your chest, to vent, to order your thoughts, to finalize a certain season in your life...Am I just rambling?
Great job! Write on!
Jack
Was this a real experience? It sure sounds like something my Lord would say. It also brings to mind three different scriptures that confirm the biblical accuracy of that statement. I really like it! Very profound. I have been guilty of NOT writing down some of the things that the Lord has said to me. That is a big mistake . keep up the good work! write on.
Jack
I am not usually interested in fantasy but I really enjoyed this piece. Hopefully you have more. In portfolio no doubt. Nice job building the characters. I would have liked to see more detail about Hannibal. don't yet have a picture of him in my head. Will definately read more. You did a great job of hooking the reader into going forward in to the story. One thing that bothered me, and it is probably just personal preferance. You described and built all of these different species that were very original and unique. And then you throw in Gouls and Zombies. I recommend thinking about using some of that great creativity of yours and invent some cooler, more original enemies. You had already proven that you can do that. I was a little let down when you introduced them. Everything else is so original and thought provoking that it seemed take away from the originality of the piece. Just my thoughts. I really liked it. very talented. Write ON!
Jack
Great question! and one that gives a western writer some valuable feedback. Gonna read some of your stuff. I will give you some feedback. I see you have quite a few posts. I am new here and have only posted one partial chapter. By all means read it. I value your feedback. By the way, I like all types of western heros also. I prefer the Lamour type and I have read all his 120 plus books at least three times. Jonstone, Max brand are also some favs.
Thanks
Jack
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