This is short so it's difficult to really get a handle on where it's going. The description of the cabin and it's location could benefit from a bit more detail as could Filby himself. We are told he is something if an outcast due to his heritage but don't really get any insights into his personality - how does he feel about his situation?
I think this line is a little awkward In addition, when Filby is not in the mines, dressed as a farmer,
At first I thought he was mining dressed as a farmer. I'd suggest something like In addition, when Filby is not in the mines he works in his vegetable garden dressed as a farmer
It has a certain charm so far but could benefit greatly from more details to immerse the reader and a clearer sense of the character.
Hi, I don't normally read romance so please forgive me if I miss something a seasoned romance reader would pick up on. I found this story very engaging. The characters were likeable and relatable and the dialogue felt natural and realistic for the time in which the story was set. Your prose flows well though your similes are sometimes a little unoriginal.
She laughed, a sound like water bubbling over rocks
hair catching the light like spun gold.
I think my main suggestion for improvement would be to make the farmer's motives a bit clearer. I didn't understand his relationship with Laura. Why does he have such authority over her? What is it that he thinks he is protecting her from? Understanding this would, I think make their reunion later more rewarding.
The title is a little confusing - does ploughed earth have a sound? Those suggestions aside, I did like the story so thank you for an enjoyable read.
Regards
Dunstan
I enjoyed this very much. There's a feeling of truth in the narrator's voice. The reflection on the relationship is interesting and flows well. To reach it's full potential I'd suggest bringing the heating up a little on the emotions of the narrator. At present it feels a little cold and detached to suddenly reveal the twist. The slow burn works well but I think a little more of the hurt and bitterness that led to the killing would lead more naturally into the reveal and give more credibility to the act itself. Thanks for the enjoyable read.
Dunstan
Wow this story is wild! Very imaginative and really well written. The clarity is brilliant, very easy to read and follow and the characters are all very believable and relatable. I like the concept — it's far out but really entertaining. If I have any criticism to offer it's that Milo needs more development. At the moment he's a bit of a one dimensional super villain. He doesn't have a satisfactory motive other than just thinking humans are a "bad idea". I think you could really enhance your story by introducing him earlier and giving him just a little back story so that in the end we're thinking "ah, that's how it all ties together".
Just my opinion. Feel free to disregard. Thanks for a memorable and entertaining read.
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