Ok I have not done poetry, that being said I love cats!
Who is the Master I was like this is not in the right rating. But I read the whole poem and went oh.
Cats from their view it does sound like something we would think about if we were cats.
Venus sounds like a cat I once knew Gizmo would attack any toes that were under the bed sheets to show who was ....
If I knew more about poems I would say it works except for when the human turns on the vacuum cleaner, But that is not part of this poem. How would that fit into it I wonder cause almost all cats not all run jump fly if that vacume cleaner is on and .... This did not bring out any feelings but memories of the cats I have known. The only part that I would change and it may be just me is that last line "but it is I with the cheeky grin".
Thanks for sharing and hope this helps.
*Bullet* Was the writing memorable? Why or why not?
*Bullet* If this were your own writing, what would you want to know from a reviewer?
Overall I would say you hit the mark. Mark being depression and not Mark xyz. I have some of what you talk about the fog as the cage and no key, my key being the sun or the wind which ever happens to move the fog and my depression. The only part that seems a little bit off and it maybe perfect is the first paragraph.
I have read or listen to others talk about dividing conversation up into paragraphs that it reads better that way? Except your writing an essay and not a conversation. The lines go well together,
simple and if the reader does not know Thanatos, or Mrs Wurtezl they can learn something new.
So I need to do more reviews, Hope your doing well and keep writing.
Just two things the names Minnie Mimmie that is the characters names but there so similar it can be a bit confusing? or I could have read them wrong, The PSI just out of the blue From not wanting to study for exams to attacking lamps I like the idea just wonder what would cause that? And who got into there house and planted that music box? Just a thought I like the overall idea.
Saltzom88
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