OMG!That was really funny!Keep up the great work!
This is the first New Years Eve that I’ve been alone. Now, don’t get so sentimental on me. I prefer it this way! There is a reason that I’m alone this year. It all happened on December 31st, 2006...
I had planned a party for 31 people. I sent out invitations to all of them, thinking only a few would reply. Unfortunately, they all replied.
I had barely set the chips and water dip out when my first guest arrived at 7:00pm., 8 hours early! It was George Lopez, holding an enormous bottle of Chateau De Dr.pepper. I didn’t even remember sending an invitation to him! Then the floodgates opened. One by one, cars lined the narrow streets of my manufactured home community, and a steady stream of party-goers flowed into my 14x13 trailer.
I had a huge punch bowl, and since my party was a “bring your own beverage” party, the guests dumped some interesting things into it. One guy poured in some Pepsi. My uncle Leslie lobbed in some fresh oranges, and another guest added some hot, steamy Orange Juice! I refused to drink it. I had my own little flask of beer tucked away in my Pants.
Sometime around ten, there was a knock on the door. I opened the door and saw a young policeman.
I hid my marrow-in behind my back, cleared my throat and said “Can I help you, officer?” I was very worried, because there was a cloud of marrow-in smoke above everybody’s head.
“Are you Luna Night?” He asked me, tapping his Billy club repeatedly against his muscular foot.
“Umm. Yes, that is me.” I stammered, as a puff of marrow-in smoke wafted from my Legs.
“Great!” the officer shouted. “Today is your lucky day!” he said, as he drew a boom box from behind his back. Cheesy disco music blared from the speakers. I barely recognized the tune. I think it was a disco version of barbie girl, but I’m not sure.
The officer pushed his way through the door, and made a space between the sardine packed party people.
He started gyrating to the horrible music, slowly removing his uniform. He whipped off his Gun and twirled it in the air, tossing it carelessly on uncle Leslie, smacking him in the face. He tore off his skirt revealing a well developed set of Heads. For the grand finale, he grabbed a nearby Dakota and shoved it in his Heart, eliciting gasps of horror from my party guests.
They all left before the ball dropped, and I really can’t blame them. All except uncle Leslie. He was so impressed with the officer / stripper’s performance, that they sat at my kitchen table, smoking water and talking about tricks of the “trade.” by then, I was ready for a glass of Pepsi-oranges-Orange Juice punch!
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