Hello Beykirah Dessie, how are you? A belated welcome to WDC. I hope you are enjoying your time here so far. I have just read your monologue, which I found on the random reviews, and thought I would leave some comments.
This is very true, we cannot change anyone except ourselves. We are all unique.
The only suggestion is the word its , for example in this line:" Its not up to me to try to change her, its up to me to love and support her. The only person I can change is me." Its should have an apostrophe, "it's".
Hello T.L.Perkins, how are you? WElcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here. I have just read your poem, "What Am I?" which I found on the random reviews, and thought I would leave some comments.
I thought this a lovely little poem and how very true. A simple thing like love can cause all of this.
Hello dragon pixie, how are you? Welcome to wdc, I hope you enjoy your time here. I have just read your prologue, which I found on the random reviews and thought I would leave some comments.
This sounds like it would be an interesting story. Super powers, secrets and lies, what better ingredients for a story. So in answer to you question, yes I would like to read more.
Hello Sabaka, thank you for your entry,"November," in the "Invalid Item"
Your poem describes the month of November perfectly.
I love the rhythm and rhyme. it is good to read a rhyming poem as it seems to be going out of style. Personally I think a poem is not a poem unless it rhymes.
Hello Poet , how are you? Welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here. I have just read your poem, "Just A Girl," which I found on the random reviews, and thought I would leave some comments.
An inspirational poem, it shows the fight in you to stand up for what is right.
A few suggestions: This line:"That leaves you to wonder is this girl they say someone helpless?" Does not read correctly. perhaps if you leave out the words,"they say," and change the is to if, so it reads something like: "That leaves you to wonder if this girl is someone helpless?"
This line also needs punctuation to read correctly: " A girl no correction this woman who is fearless.." A comma after girl aand then a comma after correction.
Hello llupeh , how are you? Welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here. I have just read your poem, " Black," which I found on the random reviews, and thought I would leave some comments.
Death is never easy and of course we always dread our loved ones passing.
Your poem is very emotional.
Suggestions: I did find the first six lines a little too repetitive. I do not think there is a need to use the word color so many times. You can say the same thing when perhaps replacing the word with and in places.
Also, always use a capitol I when speaking of one's self.
Hello Matt, how are you? Welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here. I have just read your poem, " WW1," which I found on the Newbie listings, and thought I would leave some comments.
War poems are always very sad, however, I do enjoy reading them and also I write quite a lot of them myself.
I must admit, the only thing I did not like about this one is the word, "bang," which started every line. I found it too repetitive. However, I do understand the reason behind it.
Thank you for sharing.
Sanita
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/sanita200
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.48 seconds at 2:10am on Nov 24, 2024 via server WEBX1.