Wow, I really enjoyed that. I am not the most knowledgeable when it comes to the rules of poetry. But from a reader's perspective I could really connect with it. The theme of silent sacrifice is what hit me most.
I especially liked the imagery involved.
The only suggestion I'd have is to shorten/revise the first line of the third and sixth stanza as they don't roll smoothly as I read it. But again, that's my personal opinion.
I happened to stumble upon your poem and loved the sentiment. It brought back memories of someone I once knew. I could identify with a lot of the things you wrote. And yes, indeed, people aren't born sad.
I'm not an expert at poetry, being a newbie myself. But I did enjoy the free verse.
There are a few typos - afraid in the title, and al in the fifth stanza. But it doesn't draw from the emotional content of it, so take it or leave. Keep writing.
Cheers
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/sanjumathew
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.09 seconds at 2:24am on Nov 22, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
