Wow!!! I like it!! A lot of times the poems I read on here make no sense at all to me. Yours does - I get yours!! =) I just thought I'd jump over here to your port and read something other than your blogs - which are wonderful, by the way!
Love it!! We never know when the planets will align just right and connections made and bonds are forged. =) I'm glad you've left your fingerprints on my world!! And I would bet my delicious bowl of tater soup that I'm not the only one who feels this way!!!
Hope you are feeling better, my friend! Spring is coming - a good time for healing!
Thank you for allowing your work to be read and reviewed by others. Please accept the comments below as my opinions. They are meant to be helpful, never harmful.
First Impression: Intriguing! Wanting to find out what the sound was pulled me along.
What I liked: I think we all a slightly sick sense of humor when it comes to another person's bad luck. I felt sorry for the poor fella, but wondered what kind of problem he would run into next.
Punctuation/Grammar/Spelling: I didn't notice any errors in any of these areas. =) Though truly NOT my forte! If there were any slip-ups it didn't detract from the story.
Suggestions: Hmmm...as I'm sitting here reviewing your story in my head, I wonder if the scar on the ear (from the previous relationship?) played a role in the sound he kept hearing? I hadn't even considered that until now.
Thank you again for allowing me to review your writing! I hope I was able to be encouraging and helpful. Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions or concerns about what I've written.
Thank you for allowing your work to be read and reviewed by others. Please accept the comments below as my opinions. They are meant to be helpful, never harmful.
First Impression: True, true, true, true... uhm, all true! lol
What I liked: I don't normally review poems. To me they are almost too personal for someone to pick apart. However, I really enjoyed yours - especially that it makes sense to anyone who reads it. There are some poems out there that I can read and re-read and still have no idea what on earth it's supposed to say. True/False questions I can handle! =)
Punctuation/Grammar/Spelling: Didn't see any issues here!
Suggestions: Keep it up!! Thanks for sharing!
Thank you again for allowing me to review your writing! I hope I was able to be encouraging and helpful. Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions or concerns about what I've written.
Thank you for allowing your work to be read and reviewed by others. Please accept the comments below as my opinions. They are meant to be helpful, never harmful.
First Impression: Giving to those who have less than we do is a wonderful lesson for people of all ages.
What I liked: I liked that the boy saw the importance of giving to others.
Punctuation/Grammar/Spelling: Didn't see any problems!
Suggestions: This is a good short piece. Maybe written for a flash challenge? I think it could have some details added that would make it an even better piece. Like the boy being down with the toys and hearing the man and the mom talking...maybe he hears about why the little boy in the car is so excited about the toys. Might give the lesson learned more teeth.
Thank you again for allowing me to review your writing! I hope I was able to be encouraging and helpful. Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions or concerns about what I've written.
Thank you for allowing your work to be read and reviewed by others. Please accept the comments below as my opinions. They are meant to be helpful, never harmful.
First Impression: As I started reading your piece I instantly thought of a book I'd read called "Gargoyle". I enjoyed the book so felt I would enjoy this short story, too.
What I liked: I liked your descriptions of the garden Jeremy saw in his dream.
Punctuation/Grammar/Spelling: Nothing to note here - everything looked good!
Suggestions: I understand this was for a Writer's Cramp entry and there were time and length constraints. I feel like you could, if you chose, to make this story longer and more fulfilling if you added (1) more descriptions about the extent of his burns, (2) more about the dream, maybe make it a repetitive dream, and (3) background info - why isn't his family coming around? However, even without the added parts it is a very good story!! =)
Thank you again for allowing me to review your writing! I hope I was able to be encouraging and helpful. Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions or concerns about what I've written.
I liked your opinion piece. I hope you'll forgive me as I put my 'teacher hat' on for a moment to ask a couple of questions. What was the teachers point with the activity? I'm guessing, hoping, that it was a lesson in acceptance and not judging others based on race/ethnicty. I am thankful that you saw something different in the man's eyes. =) That says a lot about your character!! Something you might have added is where you are located. Sometimes a person's location can help give added background to the reader. A person from NYC might have a very different perspective on 9/11 than someone from say, Podunk, Oklahoma. Adding location would depend on your audience, though. If it were for a class then maybe not add it as they all know where you live. But for something here on WdC it might be benficial. =) Just my thoughts... nice job!!!
Thank you for allowing your work to be read and reviewed by others. Please accept the comments below as my opinions. They are meant to be helpful, never harmful.
First Impression: Very scary situation to be in and what a thrill to know you made it out on your own, despite it being a 'mistake'.
What I liked: I liked the information that is shared with the reader. Most of us are not experts on elk or other wildlife. Nice job explaining what rutting is as again, not something everyone knows.
Punctuation/Grammar/Spelling: I did notice several areas were tenses changed. Maybe a few missteps with punctuation. There were some places where things didn't seem to flow very well. Easy word choice fixes.
Suggestions: One of the best ways I know to proofread and edit my own work is to read it out loud - repeatedly. I also like to have others read my work and make suggestions about areas that need some tweaking.
Thank you again for allowing me to review your writing! I hope I was able to be encouraging and helpful. Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions or concerns about what I've written.
Thank you for allowing your work to be read and reviewed by others. Please accept the comments below as my opinions. They are meant to be helpful, never harmful.
First Impression: My heart strings have been tugged and tears are sliding down my cheeks. A difficult situation for all of the people involved.
What I liked: I really liked your word choice and how you used your words to set the somber mood. I was full of anticipation as I waited to find out what was in the box, then my mood quickly turned morose as the story continued.
Punctuation/Grammar/Spelling: Very minor... so minor that I can't even relocate it when I wanted to quote it and it didn't detract from the story.
Suggestions: Keep writing!! I enjoyed your story and I'm sure many others have, too!!
Thank you again for allowing me to review your writing! I hope I was able to be encouraging and helpful. Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions or concerns about what I've written.
This is such a sweet poem! I can picture the animation or pictures to go along with this in the form of a children's book! There are many little girls who would be giddy reading about the sprites and fairies! Nicely done!
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