The story beautifully captures the cycle of life, transformation, and renewal in a way that feels both magical and deeply meaningful. The repetition of "the birds and the bees, the flowers and the trees" adds a lyrical quality that makes it feel like a timeless fable.
One comment to note: "Then many months later it became older and laid some eggs of its own..."
This transition is beautiful, but "became older" could be stronger. Maybe "As time passed, it laid eggs of its own..." to keep the poetic feel.
I work at a children's book publisher and I think this story is very publishable. If you are interested, check out publish.picolibo.com and I will keep a look out for you!
Petic, gentle, and captures the quiet magic of winter beautifully. The lonely snowflake’s journey from isolation to belonging is heartwarming, and the imagery of snow blanketing the world makes it feel like a classic winter fable. It has that timeless storytelling charm!
I think this story is very publishable and would love to help on this journey, if you're interested, I work at a children's book publisher - check out publish.picolibo.com.
Simple, sweet, and has that classic bedtime story feel. The imagery is warm and inviting, and the teddy bear’s gentle persistence makes for such a heartwarming moment. The ending ties everything together beautifully, leaving readers with a sense of peace and friendship.
I work in a children's book publisher and we are looking for stories just like this. If you're interested, check out publish.picolibo.com and I will keep a look out for your application!
It’s whimsical, poetic, and has such a lovely fairy-tale quality. The imagery is beautiful, and the story captures that childhood innocence of believing in wishes. The daisy’s quiet hope and the magical ending tie everything together so well. This is publishable as a classic-style fable, no doubt!
Btw I work at a children's book publishing company and we're looking for authors like you. If you're interested, check out publish.picolibo.com and I will be looking out for you!
Joey’s journey from struggling to find a story to making a real difference is so heartwarming. His curiosity, kindness, and determination make him such a great protagonist. The story flows beautifully, and the way his article sparks real change is so satisfying.
I work in a publishing company and we're looking for real stories like this. If you are interested, hit us up at publish.picolibo.com, I will keep a look out and would love to see what we can do together!
I love this! It’s playful, charming, and so relatable for kids. The rhythm flows well, and Liza’s personality shines through. Her excitement, embarrassment, and discovery of a new “talent” make it such a fun read.
A couple of small tweaks:
“Liza and her best friend, were running north and south” → The comma isn’t needed, and “north and south” feels a bit formal. Maybe “Liza and her best friend ran all about”?
“Now with her gap, she can’t do that” → Feels slightly off in rhythm. Maybe “But now her gap just won’t allow that”?
But overall? This is a winner! I work in a children's publishing company and I’d publish this in a heartbeat—kids will love it! - (publish.picolibo.com) if you're interested!
Here's some of my thoughts (to be taken with a pinch of salt). I think the quote 'Anything you can do I can do better' is a pretty famous one that might be overused. Think it was a song by Betty Hutton.
Also the ending of the story feels a little abrupt and not rounded off properly 'Life is funny like that'. Maybe I can suggest
"He paused on a nearby tree branch, his little heart still racing. Where had the other sparrow gone? He scanned the area, but there was no trace of his rival. Then, as he glanced down at the shiny car window once more, the realization struck him.
There had never been another sparrow.
He had spent all that time battling his own reflection.
With a sheepish ruffle of his feathers, he let out a small, embarrassed chirp. The car owner chuckled, shaking his head as he drove away.
The sparrow, now wiser, fluffed up his chest and took off into the sky, deciding that next time, he’d save his energy for real challenges—not imaginary ones."
This gives me KiKi's delivery service feels. She's a witch that grows up in a world of talking cats and flying broomsticks but as she gets older, the magic of the world starts to disappear, shes unable to hear her cat anymore (jiji just says 'meow' now). It's rly sad but I love the magic u captured
Not sure if you meant to start in what seems to be the middle of the story but LOVE this. I would 100% read this - fast paced, engaging for children and otherworldly magical. This reminds me of old school Narnia, darker and more real but with a strong message of love.
"The love we share is stronger than any darkness she could ever create!". YES.
If you wanna talk publishing, I work for a publisher that publishes aspiring children authors - publish.picolibo.com or just message me if u want
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