Very heart felt work. Sometimes it is our dreams that keep us going. Let's hope you never lose your dreams. Thanks for sharing. Keep up your lovely writing, this also is an escape from every day life.
Well now, that was quite the read. I must say you had me pulled along on this nightmare world. You have a great talent for this kind of genre, dark, deep, thoughtful.Every once in a while I would think, what can be fixed what can be changed? Then I rush around another coner with you and think nothing! Yet part of me thinks there is times where the proffesor lacks the emotion, and fear that most people would experience/even someone level headed as this man. Also maybe his journey to the base of the tower can be more discriptive, instead of saying it could be hours or days.Keep on writing and producing such great tales as this.
Very delightful story. I like how you begin inviting the child into the story. Like the exchange between mother and daughter. The only thing I suggest is to lenghten the story part about the little girl and cleaning of the chalice. This could draw the reader or as a young child listener deeper into the story. Then has all the things around them change, and music fills the air a child will be delighted with this magic. Great work, keep up with your delightful stories.
Enjoyed this, like how the repitition is like the echo of a drum, baboom,baboom. Can see this with drawing of a little boy pounding on the drum and parents with giant ear plugs, funny. A child would enjoy this very much. The only thing I wonder about is the word cacophonous. Very hard word for a young child. Keep on writing and producing great work.
Enjoyed this very much. I do so enjoy reading poetry I can understand and this poem I can read and understand the full meaning. My favorite line is,'waiting for life's flickering flame to yeild.' Beautiful. It flowed nicely and easy to read. Hope you keep producing such wonderfl peices of art.
I like your story very much. So true that sometimes memories are all we have. A good job at depicting what the homestead would have been like then. Also enjoyed how you ended the story, with a daughter's love for her mother. The only thing I would suggest is to put more feeling, more emotion into Martha. Descibe her weathered face and hands. Give her more depth to bring your story to life for the reader. Keep up the good work.
Very good work I can feel the emotion. Reads like to the beat of rap. Love the line sewing the silence. For me I think you lost your the natural beat ,rhyme when you began with the line Honey, you don't belong in my head. Great for a first draft. Keep picking at it and it should be a winner.
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