Made me laugh! :) But I think that you should cut down the "teenager talk" when you say: "Wow, that like totally hurt." I feel like it distracts from the main idea of the poem and it makes it harder to read and to understand. Excellent poem!
This is really good! However, I found it a little confusing. Maybe you could add punctuation or something like that. Other than that, pretty good!
-Savannah Rose
AMAZING! GOOD ENOUGH TO BE PUBLISHED! Seriously though. I absolutely love it. Please contact me if you have more to this! I love your way of writing. It is so clear and so elegant. :)
-Savannah Rose
This chapter is very good and almost got my blood to run cold! You are very good at expressing feeling and making the reader breathless with fear and excitement. The only suggestion I have to make is to work on the part where the guy sees the tall guy in the doorway. I didn't quite get it when you said, "I would swear I saw what looked like tree moving branches on his back". If you could explain that more fully, I bet it would help a lot. I'm anxious to read more! :)
-Savannah Rose
That was absolutely amazing. Breathtaking. Magnificient. Powerful. You have a wonderful development of characters and a stunning sense of description. Please let me know if you have or will continued this-I didn't want to stop reading! :)
-Savannah Nelson
Let me just say, you did great for having such a difficult prompt! Usually love is portrayed as a wonderful thing, but to take the opposite and write about it seems hard to me. Your writing is very smooth and straight to the point; I love it! Although I don't agree with you on your points of the downfalls of love, it was still good. :)
-Savannah Rose
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