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2 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Whispered Words  Open in new Window.
Review by S. R. J Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi there. I enjoyed your story. So heart breaking though. She finally heard the words she never thought she'd hear and instantly it's gone. So sad. I thought you did a good job. However, there were a few grammatical errors. For example:

I was so afraid of losing of friendship; of losing OUR friendship.

you're in love with them; with HIM

So why would he say no?; comma after so.

There was A huge cut over my forehead, lower case a.

Suddenly I was back in my own body. Comma after suddenly.

but you'll okay; you're okay.

and told me precautions to take; needs to be worded differently.

lost the only man I'll only love; repetitive, ever.

My favorite (and at the same time most depressing) part was: I learned that you don't die from a broken heart, but slowly live through the worst pain imaginable. That was lovely.

Thanks for the read,
S. R. Brumley
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Review of Stay  Open in new Window.
Review by S. R. J Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
JP,

I really like this poem. I like the story within and the affects that the subject has on the speaker. I think all the lines in each stanza flow together nicely. The only one I had problem with was "than an oyster their pearl." It just didn't have the smooth flow and I cannot tell if it was a grammatical error by design or it was just missed during editing. Other than that I liked the images that the poem gave and the feeling that made them. :)
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