I enjoyed the first person narration of this piece. Her thoughts get interjected everywhere, dropping little tidbits of info about the world you’ve invented. And what a world! There are so many little particulars that are sometimes hardly related to the immediate plot (my favorite was the little bit on the way derriswood must be carved) but help to suspend my disbelief. They’re thrown about all over the place, making the world rich and colorful. I noted with surprise after I finished the story that there was a lack of detailed description about such items as the ships or the characters, but I found that I did not miss it at all. Because of other abounding information I believed the world existed and was sucked in. Simply through the way the protagonist thought and behaved, I came up with my own opinions about how she looked. It was a very specific world, but at the same time I was free to imagine it the way I pleased, if you know what I mean. 
For the most part I had no idea where the story was going, but I was given a few hints from the moment of meeting Meris. I just didn’t know what to expect, and that made the story all the more interesting to me. There are also some interesting little… not quite subplots, but interesting little somethings such as the protagonist’s lost father, the rivalary between the two troops, and those incriminating holos of that monk!  They give the reader a few red herrings to wonder about for a while, until the action really gets going… and as a bonus, they enrich the plot. I can tell you must have thought about a lot of things in writing this story. Well done!
I have no complaints as far as plot and characterization go. Here are some minor technical suggestions though, to help you polish your piece…
 First of all, I’d recommend looking through your piece as the readers would see it, and you’ll find some spacing errors. Not a big deal, but it’s one less thing for somebody to complain about. 
I grabbed the handle, real leather, it was my father's on Old Earth, and began to carry it towards our caravan.
Here I’d like to make a suggestion for this sentence to help the reader to expect an interjection of the protagonist’s thought:
“I grabbed the handled- real leather, it was my father’s on Old Earth- and began to carry it towards our caravan.”
The sand of the beach was very fine, however[,] and it took quite an effort,
I noticed a few times that your “howevers” lack a pause on the other side. It could just be a personal preference of mine, so maybe try reading this sentence aloud to see if it sounds right to you. Here’s another one:
His head was bowed, though[,] so I found it difficult to make out his face.
or COPADS to the acronym-inclined Cetians called it,
This would make better sense if it was worded:
“as the acronym-inclined Cetians called it”
or
“to the acronym-inclined Cetians”
The damned Cetians were so often in a hurry to get of schedule, they had been known to program their drones to leave five, ten or even fifteen minutes early.
“In a hurry to get of schedule” doesn’t make sense to me. I would suggest perhaps:
“The damned Cetians were so often in a hurry to get ahead of schedule” or something like that.
Looking at my watch, I could tell that dawn must be breaking miles above, us on the surface of Europa,
It feels like this comma doesn’t belong.
The room is dark and silent. No one in the New Orpheus theatre is moving a muscle.
 You know normally I’d jump on a writer for daring to change from past to present tense, then to past tense again. But somehow it works, and you justify it with the sentence: “So began the premier performance of Tackeradd’s newest masterpiece.” It felt so smooth I didn’t notice it the first time I read it. I wonder, is that actually allowed? Hehe, it feels fine to me.
In response, one of the most beautifully crafted puppets Eylion has ever made moves onstage as if dancing.
 A curious thought just hit me; what happened to the puppet the retired monk was supposed to make?
The entire piece eventually culminated in the death the love of his life, Erin[,] and one of the most wonderfully written dirges that Tackeradd had ever produced.
I’d suggest another pause after “Erin” before going on to the dirge to separate the two so it doesn’t seem like the dirge is dying too. 
“Don’t be astonished, Rayna, may I call you that?”
You might want to consider separating this into two sentences to eliminate any confusion.
“Don’t be astonished, Rayna. May I call you that?”
Un fortunately,” he went on, dismissing my thanks,
A space isn’t required for “Unfortunately.”
He must be mistaken, I thought, I h[a] ven’t met anyone unusual except for…
I need you to keep your meeting with him and make sure he is going to go through with i[t]
I knew it was possible you could become a…ah…puppet to the Father of Merchants."
Nice way to continue the puppet theme! And Halidax’s hesitation, as if he knows how corny it might have been to say, makes it un-corny.
He must have seen my confusion because he spoke as he reached out to take out his gun,
Did you mean that he takes Rayna’s gun?
I quickly hit a few buttons and as my opponent began to swing his fist in a vicious arc, another person materialized inside the pod with us.
Again tying in the puppets. Love it.
The only sound was the creaking of the pod in the artificial Europan wind and I could see still him as he followed his father downwards into oblivion.
Ohh, the irony. But I think “see” and “still” have been switched around.
“and I could still see him as he followed his father downwards into oblivion.”
Well, surely you don't think that you are the only puppeteer that is capable of handling matters of national security?
I love this line.
The ending was very satisfying, considering that although the city was saved, the Pater Mercatorum is triumphant and the working class will still suffer. It looks as though Rayna’s been awakened to other issues. I like that Rayna keeps Jon R, though.
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However I had a bit of trouble with the way some of the ideas were presented, as you will see shortly…
Or am I reading too much into things?