You certainly have a way with words! I am lost in admiration, the way you prompt my imagination to produce images and feelings is quite astonishing. I can almost see the scenes you so beautifully describe, and the spiritual element I find to be both uplifing and profoundly moving. My pick would be - 'As angels snuff the silent stars and sway' - what a line! I wish I could have come up with that. My only quibble, and the reason I've not awarded a perfect score, is that in my opinion, the visual appeal could be be improved by not having each line starting with a capital letter, and perhaps centreing the piece would look better on the page. Other than that I have nothing but good things to say. I looked at two other poems in your portfolio, but this is my favourite. I shall be looking some more in the near future, and anticipate further vivid imagery and tender emotions expressed in an almost classical manner. Your muses have been busy, well done. Kind regards, Ashworth. X
I've looked at the three poems twice and I'm quite taken with them, yet puzzled at the same time. I think you have some interesting ideas coming through, the imagery is good. In my opinion, I think the visual appeal would be improved if you paid more attention to grammar and the general layout. Each line starting with a capital letter, spelling and punctuation all require some thought. Centering might help too. The last line of this poem doesn't make sense to me - The ones that don't.... don't what exactly? Please don't be offended by my comments, you did ask to be reviewed. I do like the 'attitude' that pervades your work, there's an energy here I find rather appealing. You have a gift for description, that's for sure. Kind regards, Ashworth.
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/scorpioni
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.08 seconds at 11:18pm on Nov 24, 2024 via server WEBX1.