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Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I have read your this story as a part of my casual reading, and found it quite interesting, your fantasy seems to be quite factious, all over it's enjoyable to read, go on writing.
Try to be more subjective, i suggest to read few short stories.
My another suggestion is that, you need not divide your short story into chapters, by numbers, give them a name, to look better and attract readers attention.

Carry on writing, and enjoy the ART *Smile*
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