You have a lot of potential. Double check for a few run-on sentences. It's kind of hard to read past the first paragraph when so many things mesh together. It is a good story line, just needs a bit more organization to it.
I like it! The name "Caleb Danvers" sounds familiar. That's from a movie isn't it? Anyway, that's besides the point. What a great spread on a high school teen and the angst that goes with it. Plus the oh so clear dilemma that is brewing. I especially liked the ending where she found her mother hanging in the closet. That could lead to a lot of potential!
By all means, please keep writing. I'd love it if you reviewed one of my two stories.
1748813 Is the number of the first part of one story. I'll let you decide if you want to read it or any of the others in my portfolio.
I really enjoyed this short piece. I don't know enough about writing to give good constructive criticism but I hope you continue with the story. Good beginning!
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