Please keep in mind that any suggestions made are intended to help, not to criticize.
ERRORS AND SUGGESTIONS: Not a mistake was noticed, and there are no suggestions for improvement.
CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE: N/A
OVERALL THOUGHTS: The rhythm is outstanding, and the imagery just as terrific. Being new at school is difficult for youngsters, which is relayed well in the poem. I was so pleased Jim made a dear friend.
SIMPLY POSITIVE AND JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO GROUP LEADER
Hello Budroe I am helping your Secret Santa with a port-raid. ENJOY!
ERRORS AND SUGGESTIONS: No grammatical or other mistakes were spotted, and I cannot think of anything for improvement.
MY THOUGHTS: I found the story very inspiring and uplifting. The closeness shared between father and son was written in a way that touched my heart. You're right. Nothing is more important than togetherness.
SIMPLY POSITIVE & JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO GROUP LEADER
ERRORS & SUGGESTIONS: "bigger then" should be "bigger than". "i" should be capitalized. A comma should come after "You said". A larger space than needed follows "your lead". "lean" should be capitalized also. "soposed" should be "supposed" instead.
CHARACTERS & PLOT: N/A
OVERALL OPINION: With some editing, I think this poem would be terrific. You did a good job of relaying what a genuine relationship is all about.
SIMPLY POSITIVE & JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO GROUP LEADER
ERRORS: "And" is not needed after "Brother" and "each" cut for a better read before "always had". A comma should follow "games" and "synch" (which should be "sync"). Several others like these noticed also.
SUGGESTIONS: None other than giving the characters name so that they would be easier to relate to, although this did not take away from the plot in any way in my opinion.
CHARACTERS: Giving them names would make them easier to relate to.
PLOT: I think the storyline is touching. It certainly pulled at this readers heartstrings.
OVERALL OPINION: As mentioned above, I was touched by the closeness you and your "brother" share even though he does not share your blood. Sometimes blood is not thicker than water. You did a super job of expressing that.
SIMPLY POSITIVE AND JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO GROUP LEADER
Keep in mind that any suggestions made are meant to help, not to criticize your work.
ERRORS AND SUGGESTIONS: Numerous capitalization errors were spotted. Examples are, "this", "its" (which should be "it's" instead), "i", and "zak". Some punctual errors noticed also. Examples are that a comma should follow "medical school"; a comma should come after "goodbyes"; one should also come after "abortion". The last two paragraphs need to be broken down properly like the others are. Hope this helps.
CHARACTERS AND PLOT: Sam, Zak, and the other character are defined well, and the storyline good overall.
MY LIKES: The love expressed for Sam was my personal favorite. His parents concern for him is heartwarming.
MY DISLIKES: As mentioned above, the lack of proper capitalization and punctuation is needed, although it is not really a dislike, but would make for a much better presentation.
Please keep in mind that any suggestions made are intended to help, not to criticize.
ERRORS AND SUGGESTIONS: Only one error was noticed. There is an unneeded space following "Truthfully" and the comma. I cannot think of any suggestions for improving the memo.
CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE: N/A
OVERALL THOUGHTS: You did a good job of letting readers know your expectations. We all have them, whether they are like yours or other ones. I think you are right about appearance and the traits that form love. Being yourself and sticking to your convictions are commendable. Who could think otherwise?
ERRORS & SUGGESTIONS: No grammatical or other mistakes were spotted, and there are no suggestions to offer for improving the short story.
CHARACTERS & PLOT: Your family well defined, and the storyline fantastic.
OVERALL OPINION: You did a magnificent job of using this weeks prompt. Every paragraph lets readers know something about you and/or your loved ones. I liked that.
Please keep in mind that any suggestions made are intended to help, not to criticize.
ERRORS AND SUGGESTIONS: I was not surprised when no mistakes were noticed, for your entries are always superb. There are no suggestions I can think of for improvement.
CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE: N/A
OVERALL THOUGHTS: They rhythm is dynamite, and the imagery outstanding. The thought of revenge was horrifying, yet I am so grateful the prayer was answered.
SIMPLY POSITIVE AND JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO GROUP LEADER
ERRORS & SUGGESTIONS: No comma is needed after "across the street. Just an opinion, but I think "a police uniform on" would be better if worded "and wearing a policeman's uniform". I also think "my curious mind" would read better if it was worded "curiosity got the best (or better) of me".
CHARACTERS & PLOT: The characters are described well, and the storyline terrific. The last two paragraphs were heartbreaking, but summed up the mystery perfectly in my opinion.
OVERALL OPINION: I like the way the mystery begins from the beginning. The storyline held my interest from the start. The imagery used in describing the woman's appearance in the antique shop's mirror was awesome, and the screams sent chills up my spine. It left me wondering why the others screamed just as it did her. It was easy to see why she thought she was losing her sanity, especially after what the cab driver said to her.
Please keep in mind that any suggestions made are intended to help, not to criticize.
ERRORS AND SUGGESTIONS: Just an opinion, but I think "surprised" and "surprising" made the first sentence seem off. Perhaps changing one of the words would change that. "by the hurried calm...." is an incomplete sentence. Several others like these noticed as well.
CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE: Charlie, Lisa, and their parents are well defined, and the plot good.
OVERALL THOUGHTS: As mentioned above, the plot is good, although I wish more detail had been given about the creatures. You did a good job of describing the settings. I liked that.
SIMPLY POSITIVE AND JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO GROUP LEADER
Keep in mind that any suggestions made are meant to help, not to criticize your work.
ERRORS AND SUGGESTIONS: A comma should not follow "Christmas Carnival"; "apple green" should be "and apple green"; Just an opinion, but I think the sentence about the artist would make for a better read if worded like so: "sitting on a stool with a...."; no comma is needed after "suddenly smiled" or "delight"; "upwards" should be "upward".
CHARACTERS AND PLOT: Isobel and the others described well, and the storyline puts a reader in the holiday spirit.
MY LIKES: I liked the imagery used in defining the characters and settings. Very impressive in my opinion.
SIMPLY POSITIVE AND JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO GROUP LEADER
Please keep in mind that suggestions made are meant to help, not to be critical in any way.
ERRORS AND SUGGESTIONS: No spelling or other mistakes were noticed, although the rhythm was off in some of the lines. The only suggestion I have to offer is that I would make all of the lines the same word length so that the poem follows a pattern.
CHARACTERS AND PLOT: N/A
OVERALL OPINION: The rhythm is good in almost all of the lines, and the emotions terribly sad, yet well written. I hope that dreamland gets better.
SIMPLY POSITIVE AND JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO GROUP LEADER
Keep in mind that any suggestions made are meant to help, not to criticize your work.
ERRORS AND SUGGESTIONS: No grammatical or other mistakes were spotted, and I cannot think of any suggestions for improvement.
CHARACTERS AND PLOT: N/A
MY LIKES: I can imagine the embarrassment felt when discovering you were in the men's room. I thought it was hilarious. Those darn cats! I laughed even harder when reading about the checker following you. LOVED IT!
MY DISLIKES: There were none. I enjoyed the essay.
Hello wolf knight This is the first of two reviews gifted to you by ember_rain from the "Read All About It" Package.
Please keep in mind that any suggestions are meant to help, not to criticize your work in any way.
ERRORS AND SUGGESTIONS: Just my humble opinion, but I think "In the night" is used far too much in the poem. I would also follow a rhyming pattern being as you did so in a couple of verses, but not the others.
MY THOUGHTS: As mentioned above, I think "In the night" is used too frequently. Just an opinion, but I would change that and add more detail to the imagery used in describing the man and dragon.
ERRORS & SUGGESTIONS: No spelling or other mistakes were spotted, and the only suggestion I have to offer is that punctuation be used where needed in all of the lines being as it is in some of them.
CHARACTERS: N/A
PLOT: N/A
OVERALL OPINION: I thought this poem was absolutely beautiful. The meaning of genuine love and security are expressed well. I liked that.
ERRORS & SUGGESTIONS: No mistakes were spotted, and there are no suggestions to offer for improving the entry.
CHARACTERS & PLOT: N/A
OVERALL OPINION: You did a wonderful job of using the prompt for this week. I think the poem is beautiful and uplifting, and could not agree more that we have so many things to be thankful for.
ERRORS & SUGGESTIONS: Not a mistake was spotted, although this did not surprise me, for I always find your work to be outstanding. There are no suggestions for improving perfection.
OVERALL IMPRESSION: You painted a poetic masterpiece with the prompt in my personal opinion. I like the way many look past the blessings received and how the prayer was answered. He always comes through for us. Like you, I count my blessings regularly.
SIMPLY POSITIVE AND JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO GROUP LEADER
Please keep in mind that any suggestions made are meant to help, not to criticize your work in any way.
ERRORS & SUGGESTIONS: Only one mistake was noticed. "chilli" should be "chilly" instead. Otherwise, there are no suggestions for improvement.
CHARACTERS & PLOT: N/A
OVERALL OPINION: You did a wonderful job with the imagery. I could almost the twilight sky changing from blue to black as the clouds rolled in. Well done!
SUGGESTIONS: I cannot think of any that would improve the entry.
PERSONAL FAVORITES: You did a sensational job of using the prompt. Loving someone for the wonderful traits written about in the poem would come easily to anyone. Every stanza is beautiful.
Please keep in mind that any suggestions made are intended to help, not to criticize your work in any way.
ERRORS AND SUGGESTIONS: No grammatical or other mistakes were noticed, and I cannot think of anything that would improve the essay.
CHARACTERS: N/A
PLOT: N/A
MY OPINION: You did a fantastic job of describing the storm. The imagery is written about so realistically that I could almost see the willow dancing and feel the iciness. Very, very well done!
ERRORS & SUGGESTIONS: Only two errors were spotted. "christmas" should be capitalized in the note following the poem, and "Christms" should be "Christmas" instead.
OVERALL IMPRESSION: This is a lovely holiday tribute to your wife. The message He sent you certainly came true to make for some beautiful memories. Thank you for sharing this with us.
Please keep in mind that any suggestions made are intended to help, not to criticize your work in any way.
ERRORS AND SUGGESTIONS: No mistakes were noticed, and I have no suggestions to offer for improvement.
CHARACTERS: N/A
PLOT: N/A
MY OPINION: I do not think there is a reader here who could not relate to this poem. Like you, most have been ill, although some not as long as sixteen years. It is easy to see how depression would set in, but keep the faith. God is with you.
SIMPLY POSITIVE & JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO GROUP LEADER
ERRORS & SUGGESTIONS: "in to" should be "into" instead (first and last verses). "Your my" should be "You're my". "distress" and "rest" do not rhyme. Other than these, no other errors were noticed, and there are no suggestions for improving the item.
CHARACTERS & PLOT: N/A
OVERALL OPINION: The rhythm is good in all of the lines except the ones mentioned above. You did a magnificent job of expressing how a person going through denial feels. No mask can change what is felt inside. I think even those suffering from denial know that, which only increases the pain.
Please keep in mind that any suggestions made are intended to help, not to criticize your work in any way.
ERRORS AND SUGGESTIONS: No mistakes were spotted, and I cannot think of any suggestions that would improve the item.
CHARACTERS: N/A
PLOT: N/A
MY OPINION: The rhythm is good, and the imagery outstanding. The fight for light and bright dove verses were my personal favorites. I like the combination of darkness and light. The dark ones sent chills up my spine, while the light ones I found uplifting.
Please keep in mind that any suggestions made are intended to help, not to criticize your work in any way.
ERRORS AND SUGGESTIONS: A hyphen should come between "twenty" and "four"; "before its" should be "before it's"; commas should follow "Ah" and "in stone"; No comma is needed after "changing that"; No period should follow "win"; and a comma come after "this way".
CHARACTERS: N/A
PLOT: N/A
MY OPINION: You did a wonderful job of relaying why it is important to make the right decisions. They should be thought out, and not made impulsively, for you are right when saying there is no turning back.
Sherri
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