Hi - I enjoyed the poem. The imagery was good - it made me see, smile and remember... I especially liked the message of the last stanza, but we need to make it more powerful somehow. The second line of that last stanza seems skewed somewhat - maybe invert the syntax and try using different words for the end rhyme (?). Also, the idea of "whatever religion" (which is what I like in the last stanza's message) contrasts sharply with the rest of the poem (which really is Christmas), especially the two lines preceding it (the last two of the previous stanza). I'm not sure, of course, but it might improve the poem to include some reference to other religions in other parts of the poem - I think the contrast and juxtaposition of the last two stanzas is great, but isolated. Incoporating similar juxtapositions elsewhere in the poem might make the last stanza more powerful - well, it's something to think about anyway!
Happy New Year - and write, write, write!
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/shodde
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.27 seconds at 10:37pm on Oct 05, 2024 via server web1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
