That was a truly awesome piece! I'm a huge dragon fan myself, and I loved how you spoke to the existence of our own personal dragons, in the inner realms that we create, and how we love them yet are ever separate. It was a nice addition when you affirmed that our dragons love us back too. Thank you very much for your gift to fellow dragon-souled.
Very creative story based off of that photo. I like the way you added in that language based on the straw hat perhaps? You have certainly created a fun and complete story from a simple base. I would encourage you to try another event like that in the future. Blessings on you and your work.
I like the way this story was told from the animal's perspective. You added in some unique elements to the tale, and I like how you added your own rabbit vocabulary in to the mix. Overall a cute and energetic storyline filled with a lot of love for animals. Nice job.
This was a great story and of course had the distinct flavor of being told from the cats view. I liked how you added in a lot of what I would term 'animal magic', like the traveling chapters. And in the end the story winds up for a great twist as the next life comes in. Kudos.
You wrote an excellent story filled with compassion, heart and the gift of love. I enjoyed seeing the main character progress on her journey in spite of the tragedy that was all around her. It was refreshing to read a tale where someone triumphs above the supposed shortcomings they have.
You have written a very interesting story that seems to capture the spiritual side of life from a different perspective. It was great to read the objective views of the machine and watch the machine evolve. It really made me think about my own journey.
This was a great story with some interesting twists. I enjoyed the punchlines at the end of the tale. I thought that your imagery was well thought out and that story progressed well to a satisfying ending. I think that the final line captures a great essence in the blasting open the face of a beast. Well written.
This was a warm-hearted story and I enjoyed it very much. I like the way that you colored Beth's journey from the turtle to the grown and capable woman she becomes. The story had points of suspense and a lot of heart in it. I encourage you to keep writing. Blessings on you and your work!
This was a great piece of writing. It shared an excellent tale of your sons and your journey through their harrowing entry in to this world. I received inspiration from it and was happy to hear the ending. Please continue to share this story with others, a great and uplifting tale is always a welcome addition. God bless.
That was a very touching portrayal of a very emotional career. I can imagine the love and sadness mixed in to a nursing job, and your poem brings the emotions closer to me. You managed to capture beauty in sadness, and love and light in the midst of death. Very well done!
This is a neat poem and seems to be about enlightenment. I enjoyed how it laid out the search for this elusive state of being with mostly questions, ever a zen method if I know anything... It was also short and to the point, very expressive of the simple nature found in one of life's most sought after things (and of course it is not a thing?)
~L
I think you have a great concept there with the story told from the pet's point of view. The way you tell the tale is both playful and inventive. It makes me ponder what must go through the minds of my cats. I would encourage you to try more writing in this style!
~L
I was really caught up in that story. It was both touching and tragic and I think you captured the emotions with excellence. At the same time you made me want to smack his father you evoked pride in me for his mother's courage. And the way you pinned down the despair at the end was very well done.
Keep on writing!
~L
This was a touching short story. You set the scene and the atmosphere well, and did a good job with the interplay between young characters. I can just see an awkward boy in a Metallica jacket as you described too. The story flows right to the end and kept my attention. Nice work.
~L
In regards to your pending suggestion, I would personally change that first line as you've suggested. It would give a clearer meaning to the poem to set the stage inside the mind. Either way the images were playful and entertaining, I enjoyed the read.
~L
I appreciate how you have made a tribute to a very unique and gifted man. I too enjoyed the work that Tim did with the animals that he loved so dearly. It shows a lot of heart to honor him in poetry, and I liked the ending line where you sum up living with your own observation.
This was a well written piece. I enjoyed how the tale moved through the different stages of human beings dealing with a crisis. In the end the way it was resolved in to a message of faith and hope was well received. I encourage you to keep writing on this positive, hopeful note. We need more outlooks that bring light.
I enjoyed this glimpse of the time cycles of our world. I particularly like the line "While the black winter gloom eases my eyes." , it is an appealing alternative to the enjoyment of sunny days.
I enjoyed the poem and its observations about the revolving nature of the universe. I would suggest one simple change, and that is changing "a old fashion" to "an old fashion" for propriety. Thank you for the contribution.
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/sirleeus
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 10:57pm on Nov 16, 2024 via server WEBX1.