Chrissie, it's a lovely piece of work because you've filled it with so much heart! There are a few capitalization and comma repairs that take the reader a bit off course but you can clearly see the the writer truly enjoyed penning and that always makes a piece extra special.
It felt finished at the last verse "i sat next to my uncle" It's very whimsical in a twisting way. Clever way to blend dream life with real life ideas and philosophies, it takes a lot of wording loops so maybe one more verse to close it and bring all the colorful ideas into a black and white reality? It's lovely. Well done.
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.09 seconds at 5:53am on Dec 23, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
