Very bauetiful poem!
I wish more people were like this. It certainly would bring more people to Christ. I think there are a lot of people that aspire to be like Christ, but that desire is greater then what their heart can handle so therefore they become very religious so to speak. I think your one of the few that serve Christ with your heart rather then serving out of obligation or duty.
This may be alittle personal but do you look like the angel that is below your poem? She is very pretty!
Your poem is a masterpiece!
Godbless and write on!
Very nice!
I am not sure, but it seems to me that the analogy your making here suggests that when life is at its worst, another message comes forth and gives us hope or brings us to utter despair. Sometimes the message is right in front of us, but it is beyond our reach. I can see how that resembles the flight of a paper airplane, and that we can not decipher its message until it lands us a blessing or a curse.
Can not see anything worth improving. Very well written analogical poem!
Write On!
Excellent Poem!
This is one intense poem! When I read this poem, I think of how the church nearly decieved me into a religious life full of laws and rituals. It was my heart that set me free, and I am glad my heart was always against religion. There is nothing that needs to be improved. Keep up the good work!
Write on!
Exellent concept!
I have seen parts of this album while it was being envisioned, and apon seeing it, it had really enspired me to write as well. Every one has a story to tell, and so I think writing is an envaluebale way to express your inner story. Roury has showed me through his many creative talants, that one of the best ways to understand someone is to take an interest in how they express themselves aside from verbal conversations. There is no wrong form of expression; There is only something to be learned from it. I have learned alot about Roury from taking an interest in his interests, and so I encourage you to do the same. Roury is a great writer, and wise beyond his years in many ways. He has showed me how to be more free, something religion could never show me. He has been a very good friend to me. Thankyou Roury!
Very good peom; Very picturesque
If I am understanding this right, Then I see some dualism in your poem. Crabapple beach is about ready to go head long into winter, and so the beach has been nearly deserted. This realization makes her remember how she was deserted as a little girl, and how deserted she feels now. She longs for the joys of eternity where there will be no pain and suffering. If this poem is describing you, then I see you as a person who longs to recieve love, and to show it back, but everybody you find lets you down horribly. I feel somewhat deserted myself. I feel as if I have received Gods feeling and desires on certain issues, but most Christisns do not agree with me, and they even try to shoot scripture at it in hopes to turn me away from those feelings. I believe their taking the word out of the context to which it was supposed to be read. I feel like I have been deserted due to my strong viewpoints. I do hope you find someone who will treat you with love always.
Write on!, and your remember your not alone.
Excellent poem!
I think essentially what your saying is that we should live every day to the fullest. We dont know what day will be our last; No day is a garentee. Just recently I have begun to really live my life, instead of being bound in chains to religious law. The old man I saw, was old and tired of all religion demands. That made me realize that Christ talks about freedom, to love others with heart and not duty.
Fantastic Poem!
From your poem I can see that you are a very emotional person as I am. I too can jump from one emotional extreme to the other, but I've learned to control that. There has been too many times when I've lost my job, got kicked out of a church, lost friends, it's just not worth it. We may feel temporary satisfaction, only for the consequences to follow afterward. I like the way that you stayed with the same analogical theme through out your poem. Every segment flowed nicely; There were no hickups. I do not understand why this is rated a 4 star poem. I'm giving it a 5 because for one it's well written, and I can relate to it, therefore feeling what you have written.
Keep up the good work!
Very Good poem!
Im not entirely sure, but I think you wrote about a person who feels that they are being taken advantage of, and they are not getting the credit they deserve. I certainly understand that, because I myself feel that way to some degree. The last segment of your poem means the most to me, because I believe that I have received revelations from God, and yet many Christians say that I have not. I have done so much for the church, and this is what I get. The battle is not just outside of the church, It is within the very walls of the church. Do not get me wrong, I am a christian, but I have a slightly different outlook on things then most other Christians do.
Great Poem, this will go in my favorites folder!
Excellent poem!
I believe this poem is explaining how your walk into an espresso changed your day from a dreary to a day of magical enchantment. Those places can be very magical, and well as you said, a dream. Your descriptions on the food and drink were very vivid and alive. I could almost taste what you were describing, although i am not sure what the drinks were. I am not really a coffee or tea drinker, and so I really would not know unless you spelled it out. As we both know poetry does not often do that. Normally when i go out to an espresso, I usually order hot chocolate. This was a great poem, and well worth my time to review it.
Great Job!
Very good poem
Just the basic fact of her charming people with her incantations is wrong in itself. This whole thing sort of reminds me of a poem ive posted called BLACK MAGIC. I seem to have been a target for false prophets, because ive run into quite a few of them.
I didnt understand what scratch 3 X's meant, but the rest of the poem was nicely put together.
Great Job!
Wow thats a powerfull poem!
If your writing about your marriage, then I know thats its something you really charish. Thats good to hear, because alot of marriages today are not based on unconditional love.
Great Job!
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