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118 Public Reviews Given
120 Total Reviews Given
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Review by Solace.Bring
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Review of First poem  
Review by Solace.Bring
Rated: E | (4.0)
November 5, 2019


Review of

 First poem  (E)
When is a first effort good enough?
#2204758 by Applebrush


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This seems to address a writer’s simple and beautiful wish. I find it rather touching.

I like that you referred to the writer as creator. The poem includes some of the aspects of writing: ideas, words strung together on a page, and the writer’s underlying heart-hope that someone else will find his or her work appealing.

I understand the feelings expressed in this piece, and I think anyone who thinks like a writer will, too.



Thanks for sharing your work!
Solace.Bring
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Review of Love Connection  
Review by Solace.Bring
Rated: E | (4.0)
September 25, 2019


Review of
 Love Connection  (E)
What is Love?
#2201255 by JM Jr.



From this poem, I infer you’ve thought a lot about how to articulate the meaning of the word love. Your poem includes such concepts as trust, support, acceptance, and generosity of spirit. As you said in the first stanza, love is complicated, but the poem stands as a reminder that love is an essential part of the human experience.


Here are a few things you may want to edit:

         * stanza 2 – change someones to someone’s
         * stanza 3 – change their to they’re
         * stanza 3 – change patients to patience

Thanks for sharing your writing!
Solace.Bring



~ ~ ~

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Review of Arthur Moon  
Review by Solace.Bring
Rated: E | (4.0)
August 19, 2019

Review of "Arthur Moon by SarraB



This is a sweet little poem; it makes me happy to think of the moon and a child being friends. The moon is certainly available, a reassuring sight in the night sky.

In this poem of personification, the moon speaks to the child who is sleeping, referring to the child as … My dear friend and encouraging the child to share his or her sad feelings. Finally, the moon promises to take away sorrows (which a friend should always try to do!).

Correction needed:
          line 4, change “your” to “you’re”


Thanks for sharing your writing!
Solace.Bring

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Review of Caught  
Review by Solace.Bring
Rated: E | (3.5)
August 17, 2019


Review of "Caught by AM11



This short story gives a glimpse, solemn and depressing, of the undoing of a relationship. Infidelity is the focus, as a wife confronts her husband with evidence that he has been unfaithful. The wife's years of untouched rage imply that this problem may have been persistent.

The writer shows the husband’s regret in physical manifestations.
          He was immobilized, his stomach ached and his body felt heavy.
          and Tears began to fill his eyes.

The wife, filled with hurt and anger, is physically affected, as well.
          She doubled over and grabbed her stomach, crying in pain.

Some things are unforgivable, unforgettable. The end of this story makes me think there will be no undoing of this betrayal.



Here are some places in the story where conventions should be addressed:
          paragraph 1 – (run on sentence) comma needed in compound sentence after Wife
          paragraph 1 – change comma after transformed to a semi-colon or add and after the comma
          to make it a compound sentence
          paragraph 2 – period instead of comma after before
          paragraph 2 – (wrong verb tense) change … she is calm and gentle … to … she was …
          paragraph 3 – period after voice
          paragraph 4 – period after demanded
          paragraph 6 – (run on sentence) make a change between … him, he …
          paragraph 8 – (run on sentence) make a change between … caught, he …
          paragraph 8 – (run on sentence) period after careful, then begin a new sentence with He
          paragraph 10 – comma after Sorry and period at sentence end
          paragraph 12 – should be written "Get out!” she sobbed.
          paragraph 13 – (run on sentence) comma after apology


Thanks for sharing your writing,
Solace.Bring

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Review of Performers  
Review by Solace.Bring
Rated: E | (4.5)

August 4, 2019

I really like the idea that each person brings his or her own set of experiences to a reading. This review is meant to give you my honest impressions of your piece - my thoughts about its characteristics, strengths and, possibly, some tidbit (if needed) for improvement! Ultimately, the work is yours, so if this helps, great. If you don’t agree with my comments, no worries!

Thank you for sharing your writing,
Solace.Bring


~ ~ ~ ~ ~



*Pencil*Review of
 
STATIC
Performers  (E)
Ducks and ducklings.
#1989997 by Jatog the Green



*AsteriskG*First Impressions: I was drawn to the title of your poem and by the fact that you used that word to describe ducks. I have always liked ducks and find them to be entertaining!


*AsteriskP*What Works:

~ The rhyme and rhythm of your poem is nice, rather lyrical!

~ I like your use of figurative language in this poem.
          simile: They float like minor motorboats
          metaphor: The downy fleet then turns around

~ The first stanza is a nice description of the setting of the poem.


*AsteriskB*Suggestions: I have no suggestions. I like your poem just the way it is.


*AsteriskR*Finally: There is a pleasant feeling in this piece. Thank you for a delightful poem about a fun subject!





I may not have gone where I intended to go,
but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.

~ Douglas Adams ~

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Review of Swift  
Review by Solace.Bring
Rated: E | (4.5)
07/02/19
One of the things I love about writing is that each reader brings his or her own set of experiences to a piece. This review is meant to give you my honest impressions of your poem - my thoughts about its characteristics, strengths and, possibly, some tidbit (if needed) for improvement! Ultimately, the work is yours, so if this helps, great. If you don’t agree with my comments, no worries!

Thank you for sharing your writing,
Solace.Bring


~ ~ ~ ~ ~
*Pencil* Review of {item: 2194203}


*AsteriskG*First Impressions:
*When I began reading your poem, I thought, “Oh, a nice little love poem.” Then, when I came to the part about how he gave her an apple he found, I was a little puzzled. I thought, “Well, I guess a guy might give his girl an apple from the ground if it was a really NICE apple.” The ending was a sweet surprise, and I was delighted to find that the apple was just perfect for THAT particular girl. Simply charming!

*AsteriskP*What Works:
*Your details definitely allowed me to see the scenario in my mind’s eye. I like the way you described the feel of the morning and expressed her excitement to see him. You also made it clear that her feelings for him were returned in kind.
*Figurative language was a plus: … hunger pervading her heart …, Tapping her sweet girly foot …, … purrs at his robust embraces
*I like that you took a common poetry theme and moved the story down a surprising road.

*AsteriskB*Suggestions:
*I’d drop the comma at the end of the third line.

*AsteriskR*Finally:
*As an animal lover, I know that dogs and cats and HORSES do have affection for their people and display loving feelings for them. I had horses in my younger days, so this poem found a special place in my heart. So glad I found your poem; nicely done!
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Review of Machine Learning  
Review by Solace.Bring
Rated: E | (4.0)
One of the things I love about writing is that each reader brings his or her own set of experiences to a reading. This review is meant to give you my honest impressions of your piece - my thoughts about its characteristics, strengths and, possibly, some tidbit (if needed) for improvement! Ultimately, the work is yours, so if this helps, great. If you don’t agree with my comments, no worries!

Thank you for sharing your writing,
Solace.Bring


~ ~ ~ ~ ~
*Pencil*Review of
 Machine Learning  (E)
Who says that humans are the only ones that desire love?
#2186230 by Irised


*AsteriskG*First Impressions:
-> The title gave me a hint that the story might be about computers, but I wasn’t sure until I began to read.
-> I like the way your story began; it was straightforward and unemotional, just as I expect a “partner-finding” machine would be. Then, in the second paragraph, I was introduced to the irony of the story - that this machine was lonely and wanted love, too. Hmm … interesting!

*AsteriskP*What Works:
-> Your word choice is strong: strategic planning, finely honed, jumbled pile of code
-> Your main character is complex due to his conflicting feelings. In spite of the fact that EROS was said not to know what love was, you presented him as a character with longings and thoughts about love. I think this helps a reader feel sympathetic toward and to make a connection with EROS.

*AsteriskB*Suggestions:
-> The title of your story is a little misleading, in my opinion. Even though it’s mentioned that EROS learned and improved, the tale is really more about his loneliness and desires.
-> In paragraph 3, I would change would pour to poured and would help to helped
-> I think the last part of paragraph 4 should be written as follows: Whomever created him from those symbols truly had to be God, both for the irony of creating him to find love for others and for the cruelty of failing to imagine that he might want love, too.
-> I would definitely put spaces between paragraphs and increase the font size in order to make the story easier to read! *Smile*


*AsteriskR*Finally:
-> I like the premise of your story; it reminds me how often we humans anthropomorphize inanimate objects. When I was younger, I cried when I traded in my first car. I was sure it would miss its old life with me. After reading your story, I’m thinking that might have been possible!





** Image ID #2184136 Unavailable **
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Review of The Bird  
Review by Solace.Bring
Rated: E | (5.0)
One of the things I love about poetry is that each reader brings his or her own set of experiences to a piece. This review is meant to give you my honest impressions of your poem - my thoughts about its characteristics, strengths and, possibly, some tidbit (if needed) for improvement! I write poetry, too, so I know how very personal your own can be to you.

Thank you for sharing your writing,
Solace.Bring

~ ~ ~ ~ ~
*Pencil*Review of “The Bird ”, author Ronski



*AsteriskG*First Impressions: If this sounds dramatic, my apologies. When I found your poem, it was as though I found a beautiful and delicate treasure. I’ve read it many times, and it is more lovely now than when I first read it.

*AsteriskP*What Works:
~ One thing that makes it special is the figurative language you used: flew on wisps of thought, silence was his golden cage, creation's edge

~ Your word choice and phrasing are unforgettable: Placed he in gilden cirrus cell, feasted they on swampy sedge Something about the sound of the poem reminds me of those written by poets from long ago; there’s a classic air about it. Amazing.

~ Your beautifully-told story made me, the reader, care about the bird's plight, and I was relieved that he found his freedom.

*AsteriskB*Suggestions: I have no suggestions. For me, this is a perfectly written poem.

*AsteriskR*Finally: This is one of my favorite poems. It is simply and elegantly told. You must be very proud of its artistry.

Do you happen to have a picture of the postcard? I tried to find it on the internet but wasn’t successful. I would love to see the art that inspired your poem.
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Review by Solace.Bring
Rated: E | (4.5)
October 7, 2018

One of the things I love about poetry is that each reader brings his or her own set of experiences to a poem. This is a review of your poem, “The Benefit of the Doubt“. It’s meant to give you my honest impressions of your poem - my thoughts about its characteristics, strengths and, possibly, some tidbit (if needed) for improvement! I write poetry, too, so I know how very personal your own can be to you. Ultimately, the work is yours, so if this helps, great. If you don’t agree with my comments, no worries!

Thank you for sharing your writing,
Solace.Bring

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

*AsteriskO* Message/Interest: To me, this poem has a message of balance. It reminds people to strive for open-minded, to see the world and its circumstances from others' perspectives.

*AsteriskB*Fluency: I like the way you set up each stanza with acknowledgement of the validity of one’s ideas; then, the last line of each stanza seems to emphasize the need to examine those ideas with moderation and fairness.

*AsteriskG*Word Choice/Readability: The readability of this poem is quite pleasant. The message is so important and said in a simple, quiet way.

My favorite parts are the way it begins and the 4th stanza:

         So go and have your say,
         But listen to what others have to bring,
         And think.


*AsteriskR*Writing Conventions: All looks good to me!

*AsteriskV*Finally: I think this poem is important. It’s a poem for humanity … encouragement to have one's own beliefs but to be open to the ideas of others, as well … basically, to LISTEN and THINK.

I really like what you wrote and its presentation.

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for entry "Benighted
Review by Solace.Bring
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Ken,

Your poem, "Benighted", is brimming with beautiful personification and imagery; I could clearly see the picture in my mind's eye! I'd bet you've actually seen that sight in real life. You came up with a great title, too! Very nicely done.

Good evening,
Toni

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Review by Solace.Bring
Rated: E | (5.0)
I'm writing to say thank you for providing a contest for those of us who are inclined to write bite-size poetry. I'm glad to have a place to practice my concise craft! Please accept this donation to your contest in appreciation.
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Review of Pen  
Review by Solace.Bring
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a review of “Pen”. It’s meant to give you my honest impressions of your poem - my thoughts about its characteristics, strengths and, possibly, some tidbit (if needed) for improvement! I write poetry, too, so I know how very personal a poem can be. Ultimately, the work is yours, so if this helps, great. If you don’t agree with my comments, no worries!

Thank you for sharing your writing,
Solace.Bring


*AsteriskB*Merits: This poem has both simplicity and complexity. The speaker simply explained how the pen affected the people differently. Yet, the complexity is in the message that I, the reader, assigned to the poem. That is, the same tool in different hands and used for different purposes can have a variety of effects.

*AsteriskO* Message/Interest: Something I inferred about your message is that what people write, how and why they use ‘the pen’, matters. Using the pen has consequences – which can be either positive, negative, or both.

*AsteriskV*Flow/Balance: I like the way you divided the poem. It looks good on the page. I actually believe that the written presentation of a poem is important, and your presentation caught my interest.

*AsteriskG*Word Choice/Readability: Your poem has quite a lot of repetition, but I think that’s one of its strong points. It accentuates your ideas in each stanza.

*AsteriskR*Writing Conventions: Simple, straightforward, fine with me!

*AsteriskW*Finally: I like your poem. For your first, I’m impressed. As I said, the simplicity of the words and the complexity of the message make for an interesting combination. The fact that the speaker pointed out positive and negative aspects of the pen leads me to believe that the speaker has considered the responsibility of owning what he or she asks for at the end.

If this were my poem, I would make the following change. In the first stanza, the speaker says he grabbed the pen and used it, but he also said he didn’t own the pen. He states My power is the pen. If he didn’t own it and only used it, then I would change is to was … because he wants one at the end of the poem. Does that make sense? It’s a small thing, I know, but to me it’s an inconsistency.

I think there just might be a poet inside you, so I hope you will continue to write more!




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Ocean Moon  
Review by Solace.Bring
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a review of “Ocean Moon". It's meant to give you my honest impressions of your poem - my thoughts about its characteristics, strengths, and possibly, some tidbit (if needed) for improvement! I write poetry, too, so I know how very personal your own can be to you. Ultimately, the work is yours, so if this helps, great. If you don’t agree with my comments, no worries!

*AsteriskB*One Value: This poem has powerful description. It brings to my mind the times I've seen the ocean lit by a full moon. The second stanza is my favorite, reminding the reader that Nature puts things together in poetic ways - Nature's dance.

*AsteriskO* Message/Interest: I think anyone who enjoys being near the ocean would appreciate the subject of your poem.

*AsteriskV*Flow/Balance: I enjoyed the flow of the poem - first stanza's lines longer, lines in the following stanzas being shorter, and the last line bringing all the parts together - full moon, swells, salt, sand, Mother Leatherback... home again.

*AsteriskG*Word Choice/Readability: Again, descriptive words: Burgeoning swells, Nature's dance, continent versus sea

*AsteriskR*Writing Conventions: Fine with me!

*AsteriskW*Finally: I get the impression from this poem that you have a special feeling about the sea and its part in the scheme of things. Each time I read your poem, I liked it more and more.

Thank you for sharing your writing,
Solace.Bring


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Review of constellation  
Review by Solace.Bring
Rated: E | (4.5)

First Impressions:

~ What a beautiful poem. I’m lucky that I came across it! It reminds me of the way I feel when I look up into a night sky.

What Works:

~ nice wording: such as vast beauty that stretches across the stars
and makes astronomers wonder for thousands of years

Suggestions:

~ I only wish it had gone on. It was lovely.

Finally:

~ A poem needs what it needs, and each is different. If you consciously chose no punctuation, I have no problem with that. As poets, we have many freedoms regarding display.

~Thank you for sharing your writing!

Solace.Bring


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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