This is a review of “Pen”. It’s meant to give you my honest impressions of your poem - my thoughts about its characteristics, strengths and, possibly, some tidbit (if needed) for improvement! I write poetry, too, so I know how very personal a poem can be. Ultimately, the work is yours, so if this helps, great. If you don’t agree with my comments, no worries!
Thank you for sharing your writing,
Solace.Bring
Merits: This poem has both simplicity and complexity. The speaker simply explained how the pen affected the people differently. Yet, the complexity is in the message that I, the reader, assigned to the poem. That is, the same tool in different hands and used for different purposes can have a variety of effects.
Message/Interest: Something I inferred about your message is that what people write, how and why they use ‘the pen’, matters. Using the pen has consequences – which can be either positive, negative, or both.
Flow/Balance: I like the way you divided the poem. It looks good on the page. I actually believe that the written presentation of a poem is important, and your presentation caught my interest.
Word Choice/Readability: Your poem has quite a lot of repetition, but I think that’s one of its strong points. It accentuates your ideas in each stanza.
Writing Conventions: Simple, straightforward, fine with me!
Finally: I like your poem. For your first, I’m impressed. As I said, the simplicity of the words and the complexity of the message make for an interesting combination. The fact that the speaker pointed out positive and negative aspects of the pen leads me to believe that the speaker has considered the responsibility of owning what he or she asks for at the end.
If this were my poem, I would make the following change. In the first stanza, the speaker says he grabbed the pen and used it, but he also said he didn’t own the pen. He states My power is the pen. If he didn’t own it and only used it, then I would change is to was … because he wants one at the end of the poem. Does that make sense? It’s a small thing, I know, but to me it’s an inconsistency.
I think there just might be a poet inside you, so I hope you will continue to write more!
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