I enjoyed reading Yoga, For the Right Reasons a great deal. I’ve been a fan of yoga all my life though my practice has stopped and started quite a lot. Whenever I’ve had any physical problems yoga has usually been my first port of call for self-healing, and most of the time it has done the trick! Your story is amazing, how you overcame your bursitis and went on to become a yoga teacher. I loved your description of the first couple of lessons you led, how you felt nervous, what went a bit wrong in the very first lesson, and how your students helped you through.
This is excellent writing. As I read it I felt absorbed, spellbound to the end. I felt that I was led through the same experiences myself & I wondered whether I would have the courage to do the same things in the same circumstances. Thanks for the wonderful read.
I really like this piece. It held me spellbound which is something poetry doesn' t often do to me.
I have a few points
1) Avoiding the shark infested concrete
Maybe I'm just being dense but I don't 'get' the metaphor here. The two children are deliberately skipping close to the edge of the water. At first I thought that the "concrete" must refer to the water being a long way down so that hitting its surface would be like hitting concrete, but as the girl that fell didn't suffer from an impact this can't be the case.
2) You say its a pool, but later you say there was a sign that told him otherwise, which is a rarity with pools but fairly common for natural water forms (lakes, ocean, etc.).
3) If it's a pool then where do the sharks come from? Sharks are ocean creatures. Or are the sharks metaphors for the danger that is the water?
I like the way the reader is left guessing at the end about the thunder. Was it real? A premonition? A metaphor which became real in the boy's perception?
Points 1, 2, 3 are minor ones. Please don't take them as significant or as things other readers would see as problematic. The poem itself is wonderful. The physical & emotional imagery is mostly very clear & the story it tells takes the reader on an gripping adventure.
I particularly liked the lines: Eyelashes touching my brows and cheekbones
which I had to think about for a second or two before it clicked,
and I called her an idiot, because she scared me.
which stirred in me the emotion it described and deepened my reading experience.
Well done. I hpe you get a grade A (or equivalent). You deserve it.
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 7:12pm on Nov 24, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
