This is a really exceptional piece of work. You really grasped the huge, awesome thing that the word "infinity" and "limitless" inspire. You should definitely keep writing, who knows what other amazing stories you could come up with.
My only nitpick is the first sentence on the second paragraph. I think it sounds a bit awkward and the second "you knew but you forgot" could be taken out. That's pretty much the only reason I'm not rating this a five.
Wow, I really love this poem. I think the way you describe Mars is very dreamlike, which I love. I believe "a great abyss" is a fantastic way to describe anything in space. Imagine going to a planet like Mars, which, the moment you set foot there, you would be the first lifeform ever present, in all of history, on the surface. I think it would really invoke feelings of a dreamy loneliness.
Anyways, I'm giving it a 4.0, only because some parts don't flow together quite so well as I think they could.
Thanks for writing this, keep it up!
Prokaryote
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