Both pieces are well-constructed and true to the nature of our world. The choice of words displays a good understanding of our world.
Not sure what the point is, but I enjoyed reading these two pieces. Very good job.
An interesting question is suggested by the author. I believe who we are changes with different events or challenges.
The piece is well written. The question is thought-provoking. I like a statement that makes reflect on yourself. Great job.
Well written held me to want to read more. Curious why you ended it where you did! Great descriptions of the secret room and th bodies. Just enough to want to know more.
Interesting story. A little more detail regarding the main character may have helped with the visual. The end of the story was a cute surprise. All in all a well crafted story. Good job.
Interesting twists and turns. I like the way you blended facts of the story together is all sound so good. Best of all it sounds interesting and has a great flow.
Good job on a short story. I look forward to reading more of your material.
What wonderful adventure in storytelling and the haunting fear that goes with the imagination of the children of the story. A well told tale of fear and terror that can only come from the mind of a true storyteller.
The story is well constructed with a flow of suggestion and withholding of details, just enough to let your own imagination create the world of it's own.
Good job over all, I look forward to reading more from this writer.
Story well told with a good twist at the end, one I was not expecting, it is hard to give a twist that I do not see coming. The story leads you down a path of the troubled mind of the man and that of the doctor. A short story well written and told from the heart of the writer. Well done!
I enjoyed the content and images that were painted with the words. I will look for future creations by this author.
A well told tale of an old story, most enjoyable to read and feel the connection to the old nursery rhyme. Well written giving clues to the character's identification, yet making the reader finish to make sure who he was.
The description of the home and the general area is well done. Perhaps if there was more to read in this piece it would clearer as to the intent of the writer to tell the story. For the content only I will give you 4 stars, and hope to read more from you at a later time.
The poem speaks of the wonder of the beautiful birds. The poem is clean and clear like the air under the wings and as true as the hunt of these birds of prey. Keep working on your poems and perfection is just a poem away.
Dark poem, speaks of the depth of the human soul. Depression is a feeling I can relate to and understand. Thoughrs are well stated and displayed for the reader. Reaching deep inside yourself is the signs of a writer with much to tell, with the ability to share with others.
A touching and well written piece which remind us of what we should all remember regarding those that have gone on before us. The statement is simple yet very deep. Good job and thank you.
PLOT / STORY-LINE Here the plot seems for the lady to act out of impulse with a young farm boy. The full intentions are not clear but are suggested that there will be a romatic event in the near future.
TITLE Title is perhaps as playful as the main charactor, though somewhat misleading.
STRUCTURE / POV / CLARIFICATION Wonderfully done.
SCENE / SETTING The scene is artfully set and to the point the reader can smell the dust and taste the rain on his tongue.
CHARACTERS Both charactors are well done with just enough information and enough left to the imagination of the reader, as it should be.
MY PERSONAL OPINION I hope to read more of this story, I wonder where it will go. The story is very well done and leave this reader wanting more
The tale of betrayed love and lies of a would life mate. This story is touching and tragic and all to real for so many people. The reaction of a the broken hearted lover is also so real.
This story is well told and reflects the feeling so many have felt.
Subject matter projects many questions as to what w3as really going on.
Main Charactor needs more details to identify with who and what she is, but since this ia just a small part of a big story, I'm sure there is more explainations.
Over all a great start to what I feel will be a great story, keep up the good work, I hope to see more from you!
This piece holds many untold thoughts and ideas. The morning ritual sounds like my own,. Perhaps more information would bring the ideas into a better light. I grade hard so don't take the rating to seriously.
I look forward to reading more of your material, keep writing and I will keep reading!
Great job on the building your charactors and setting the mood for the events. The descriptions of the scenes were great, perhaps a little more fleshing out of Amy to show what she looks like would make her more real in the reader's eyes and mind.
I hope to read more of this story, keep up the great work!
Wonderful job, great story telling. Loved the backdrop and the setting of the mood for the story. Enjoyed the change in language between the charactors.
For a short piece you maangered to tell a great deal about the charactors without falling into the trap of listing the details of the charactor, which would have taken away from the story.
I would have geiven a higher rating here, but I like to give the writer room to grow and the for the story to be improved upon,even a little. Of the pieces I've read on this website this is by far the strongest and most aluring piece. Good luck with the rest ofthe story
This story line could be very interesting, however I am concerned that it may havee been over used in the past. not saying that new life can not be created by careful planning and twists and turns. In deed I feel that with the right touches this story line could go places never seen before.
I hope to see this story line take many turns and twisted paths to reach it's conclusion. Truely it is very hard to find a story line that has not been used over and over. It is up to the write to create the wonders of a these new unseen paths. I think you have a great start to a wonderful piece.
A warm and wonderful tribute to love in it's simple and purest form. A suprised change in mid story brought memories of great love and bitter loses.
The story is simple and grand, I would like to see the story expand a little, more depth more details of the two lovers Great use of words and emotions from the writer.
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