Hey,
Before I review I just would like to say that everything I say is just my opinion and what I think, and it’s intended to help you.
Constructive Comments this is a very nice poem. You said a lot in this poem and that is a good thing. However the first thing I notice was the look of it. The first paragraph it has longer sentences than the second. And the second is longer than the first. I think putting it into three parts instead of two could fix that problem. But still I like it
Hey,
Before I review I just would like to say that everything I say is just my opinion and what I think, and it’s intended to help you.
Comments
This story is so beautiful and sad at the same time. The story was very well written, with good characters. I was really feeling for Amy as I read along.
Hey,
Before I review I just would like to say that everything I say is just my opinion and what I think, and it’s intended to help you.
Comments This story was really amazing, the first thing I said when I was finish this was”whoa!” This is a very well written story and I didn’t notice any grammar or spelling errors.
I like that fact that is was a love story but not your normal love story, and I like that, why follow the norm?
Hey,
Before I review I just would like to say that everything I say is just my opinion and what I think, and it’s intended to help you.
What I like What I really like is Sheila. I like the fact that she is a hard working woman and the fact that she is not the most tone and cut female on earth. A lot of people go for the pretty petite female (not saying that’s bad) but you went for the pretty full figure woman and that’s good.
And some Constructive Comments One thing I didn’t like was how you described Lyrell. In the 4th paragraph you describe him as being baldheaded but in the last paragraph you describe him having cornrolls. One think I think that could help that is if you do a character profile. A character profile is basically a bio of your character and with it you even better understand your characters. With a character profile you basically fill out there name, age, height, weight, Birthplace, and things like that.
But all and all I liked it
Write on
~Soul Writer
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/soulwriter
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.06 seconds at 3:09am on Nov 23, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
Constructive Comments 
and Season’s Greetings,
