Wow! I'm silenced and stunned by what I've just read. And it's awesome, I can't find any errors, you've completely blown me away. I think it's because when I was reading your poem it's almost like reliving a sacred ritual I've practiced for years. I've never heard it described like that before. Thank you for sharing your poem.
You have great insight in what you've written. Not everyone can show themselves like that and get others to understand by the usage of words. The thing I would suggest is your first few lines should flow a little better. You have a great rhyme scheme and your imagery is amazing. But watch out for your syllables you can prevent by keeping a thesaurus. It may sound strange but it has helped me out a lot. Keep up the good work!
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