Very good traditional metre except that "idea" , a three syllable word disrupts the metric scale of the first stanza.Full of metaphoric analogies, the poetic is touching and foretelling of an afterlife of full uncertainty. this IS A WONDERFUL POEM IF NOT FOR THE WRONG USE OF "IDEA'
great work. but a little too long foor a review of this nature. you should have written a shorter work, that wont make someone discouraged in a review. it is a good and interesting work anyway .
As I read through your poem , i remember and feel the heavy September rains in the Niger delta. "like the curtain which falls at the end of the play" - a sweet simile.
"September reins " - a goodly pun on September rain. "like horses in the final stretch" and also "Like a last camera flash" - too beautiful and apocalyptic. improve on forms and metres, anyway
This looks and sounds more like a song than a poem. It is quite beautiful. i think i will adopt the method later. May be because it iis meant to be a children's rhyme. It does not only feeling like a child's poem, thhe work has the spirit of a child in it. It is such a great work.
the first lime is in iambic pentametre,"Would that our memories cloak thee in joy", the second , 'or it hath been too long since I have seen thy face', is not.the third line - When we ran ‘round together, coquettish, coy, - is not in any linear tradition. you have a good poem. good imagery. good figures. but please work on your metric scale
The introductory sentence is not sharp enough.I like the use of "haunts" as a noun in this contest.This is an irony. How could the father call them 'imaginary friends' , when they always haunt the child. 'contorted in silent pain' - a very cold figure of speech: catchy and chilling to the spine. The work is very fine . The grammar and tenses are mentally agreeable.
the work is a mere philosophical work . it teaches a lot of message and full of hoe, but it doesn't really have the ingredients of a good poem. please try and master the antics of poetry
"tumbles like a puppy," this is a beautiful. But it is not very correct in fact, dogs dont tumble, they gambol , just like goats, chimpanzees and some other apes tumbles. 'Days of tears, people glued to TV sets.
Our nation begins to heal' - very sad mood. your poem is rather long and in no traditional format. yet it is beautiful and great
pretty good work. i like the easy flowing essay and the ease with which you express your self. I love the prayer aspect which looks like a great work of art - a great poem. kep up the good work
First, i enjoy the introductory picture , the man is handsome, bold and imposing - a real military general. Your write-up , brisk like the uniformed man , is in real business flowing with suchlike military precision. I love your tropes, your figures and the absorbed rapidity of your flow of thoughts. keep it up
Not easy treating gays well. yet gays are not made they are born. The story is good, but too repetitive on friendship. If not the grammar and the ideas flow well. I don't particularly love the abrupt way in which the story ended. It should have taken a more gradual and slow end. it is a good work. I score it 70%
"My life poured out", a very good metaphor, the life of a man is in the blood the bible says.
"Frankentstein, the innocent--" i love this metonymy . another good one " Sweetness, with
A hint of brutality." your figures are powerful. your imagery of awe and fright is great. i love also the chaotic nature of the poem. you have done a good job
i like the metre of seven , six, seven, six. The perfect rhyming scheme of A, B, A B is a very good one. t5he rest is okay, metre, rhyme, figures of speech. it is a great work. please keep it up
is this real. the peom is not to metrricity, but it is absolutely beautiful. many a time we never think of the great miracles - child birth, even the growth of children , how those tiny frames transform into worthy adults. what about the miracle of the air we breathe. i particularly love the simplicity of your language
very perfect nonsense poem. easy to understand, easy to comprehend straight forward and clear. i love the simplicity of your figures. the near childlike rendition of the whole wok gives it an air of awe
poetry is art and art is poetry. colours depict the beauty in both arts and poetry . this is a work oof beauty, a work of colours - an interdisciplinary study within the same dicipline, because both art and poetry paint the same hue in human life. both are music of the soul that link the mundane to the supersensible.this work is great
I am very glad to read something like this. I will really like to have so many of my stories published . I have hunreds of stories. I hope your publication venture is free. I dont have much of money though i am a powerful writer. please let me know your proposal, i will send my manuscripts
this is a very good story. though you did not give the age of the child. why hasnt the child seen a dog before. the story is intersting any way and full of figures. your mastery of english is also commendablew. it is a nice work
the story is intersting abouta phantasy scene. it has beautiful tropes and rather fine figure. but it has its faults. it has weak dialogue. the dialogue is not sharp enough. some of the sentences seem to be too sluggish. i hope you will improve on these in yoyr next write up
very straight type of expression. it is almost like prose, yet it is poetry, i particularly like your use of chaos. it shows you are a modern type poet. you deviate from me particular who keep to strict conventionalism and traditionalattire, you figures are also fine
"Call me your faithful servant for I am" . lust is always a master never a servant. so i disagree with you here. your poem does not follow any traditional pattern . it flows as pure chaos. that is not a minus any way since we are in the age of chaos. strict formalism is no longer too fashionable. so you score high.
these really are angels . i hope they are kind and understanding. can they really lead and inspire . i would have really love to be member of your group, but i am not really sure of the procedures. i believe in angels and human angels will be a fun to be with
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