*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/stevengepp
Review Requests: ON
1,448 Public Reviews Given
1,485 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Minimalist. Focus on technical. I also look at how a work would fit into the traditional publishing landscape. I don't use a template. Warning: I am Australian, and so cultural differences may apply.
Favorite Genres
Most, really.
Least Favorite Genres
Fan-fiction
Favorite Item Types
Short stories and essays.
I will not review...
I will not review porn, fan-fiction or pro-religious/OTT-pro-USA essays. No interactives either, please.
Public Reviews
Previous ... -1- 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 ... Next
1
1
Review by s
Rated: E | (5.0)
Nice little tale of cross-generational rebellion. I do like it when I don't see an ending coming, and that was this.

There was a good use of characterisation - I could almost see the smugness on the son's face - in so few words, and the ending suited the story so well.

Technically, it was very strong.

There's not much more to say, so well done on a great piece of flash.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
2
2
Review of You belong to me  
Review by s
Rated: E | (2.5)
This came up on 'Read & Review' so here we are.

You have put forth your emotions so clearly on the page. The reader is in no doubt as to how you feel, and the source of this joy. It almost comes across as a prose poem.

However, it is one long sentence. It needs to be cut into smaller sentences, there needs to be better spelling, and more punctuation and grammar used. As it is, it is a little confusing and does not read well.

You have good emotion in your writing, now you should work on technicalities.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
3
3
Review by s
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a good little horror story with an interesting premise. The set up and start is well done, being a nicely shown tale, with information fed in organically. While there was a little bit of tell as to the characters of Tessa and Mickey, I am not sure if you had a word count restriction. If not, then it would be better to show us what they were like than tell us; otherwise, it's fine.

Technically, the only issue is "spoke" is not a direct speech tag. Insetad of old voice spoke out, “Hello? it would sound better to use old voice called out, “Hello? Otherwise, quite clean; nicely done.

My only problem with the story is the ending. You went from a lot of show to just telling us that Mickey had lost his soul. It fell rather flat after the well written opening.

Still, decent story.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
4
4
Review of The Search  
Review by s
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Found this on 'Read & Review', so here I am.

Odd story about a person leaving a house, finding themselves in a precarious and ghostly situation, then getting back home and writing it down.

You classified this as comedy, but, unless wetting oneself is funny, then I could not see how this was comedy.

The main thing, though, was that it was nearly all tell and very little show. There was no emotion to the story. I thought at times you might have been going for horror, but, again, the vibe was not there. It was just a simple story told without heft. And the ending lacked any real stakes. Strange entities beseeching the narrator, then the door opening so they can get out.

Technically, you really need to work on punctuation around direct speech, and there are some words that do not really seem to fit where you put them. When it comes to direct speech, do not trust Grammarly or the like - they get it wrong too often.

So, there is an interesting idea here, but it does feel like it needs something extra.

In my opinion.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
5
5
Review by s
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
While a little bit too tell rather than show, even if there is only a one hundred word limit, you definitely told a story of an unlucky day passing by without incident until that final, sudden death. The lack of detail and emotion did affect the horror of the story, but you still managed to complete a drabble that told a horror tale. Well done.
6
6
Review by s
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
The unexplained place of horror trope - this felt like the script for an old EC Comics short from one of their horror publications. You've told the complete story in the 100 words, so well done; there is certainly an undercurrent of creepiness about it.

Good work.
7
7
for entry "Hack and Slash" 
Review by s
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Ah, using the film to portray the horror of a murder - this was the sort of story I did expect. Nice juxtaposition between the murder and the family man, and people who know serial killers know this victim will not be the last.

One question: "He cleaned up the ax and his act,..." Why "and his act"? Felt like it didn't quite fit.

Still, fine story.
8
8
Review by s
Rated: E | (4.5)
Sometimes reality can be far more horrific than anything from the imagination. using the setting as Friday the 13th and the idea of a house haunted more by memory than ghosts does add to the creepiness of the tale.

Good use of the drabble form to deliver a short and definite tale.
9
9
Review by s
Rated: E | (3.0)
An interesting little monologue, one that came up on 'Read & Review'.

There is some nice imagery, even in such a short piece, and the idea behind it of not being what you thought you were is well done.

However, it is difficult to read. Each paragraph is one long run-on sentence, where the meaning is diluted and made harder to glean because of the confused composition. While you have used the punctuation well (although "blooding" in the first line should just be "blood"), the fact that everything is strung together makes it hard.

Good luck going forward.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
10
10
Review of Kidnapped  
Review by s
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Nice piece of flash fiction! Very good use of a small word count. What really worked was that the information feed was organic - the husband not caring, the kidnapping, then the involvement at the end, it all flowed well. No info-dumps, just a scene that tells a whole story with an ending that I did not see coming, which is something I always like.

Technically, this was very clean as well.

I know this is an older piece, but it came up on 'Read & Review', and it tickled my fancy, so I thought I'd let you know how much I enjoyed it.

Thanks for sharing!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
11
11
Review by s
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Found this in 'Read & Review' and, being a sucker for horror, gave it a read.

You have captured the atmosphere really well, and have included the prompt words seamlessly. The idea of a writer being forced into a situation in which they have to write (and we, the reader, assume it might be for a very long time) adds an extra layer of terror to the members of this site...

This is a strong, tight horror tale, with a good open ending, and a protagonist who responds in a realistic manner.

Really strong tale; well done.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
12
12
Review of BrainiLeaks  
Review by s
Rated: E | (4.0)
Okay, to me, that would be the most horrific thing to happen. The set up is fine, and Tom is there as our PoV character.

Now, you still had words to play with, so making the ending a little more protracted and horrifying would have helped make this scarier, and maybe even hinting it was happening across the board. There was just that feeling of being muted.

Still, decent tale; well done.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
13
13
for entry "Vinny" 
Review by s
Rated: E | (4.0)
I do like it when a story goes where I am not expecting. While the horror was slight - more gangster than horror, though death is always horrific - I did enjoy the tale. Two little things - put the thoughts in italics; jumping to first person was jarring. And second, it did read like they were wearing the sub-machine guns on their heads. Which is an interesting visual.

Still, nicely done. Good set up and good use of the word count.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
14
14
Review of Happy Birthday  
Review by s
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Yeah, sometimes the horror of real life can be as bad as the horrors we make up in our head. I am glad you avoided the minor ideation, but it is still an uncomfortable read, knowing what is to come. You used the limiting word count well, making for a real sense of fear and horror as to what was to come.

Nice job; well done.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
15
15
Review of Bad Boy  
Review by s
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
The outdoor birthday party destroyed by the madman trope... good choice for such a short word count! I do like the way you've left the ending open, making that horror increase. You are really improving at writing horror, the more of these you do, and I think you could give a much longer work a serious go.

Great tale; well done.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
16
16
Review of Hear Me  
Review by s
Rated: E | (4.5)
Found this on 'Read & Review', so I thought I'd give it a go.

This is an interesting poem. It feels like it starts as a plaintive cry, then becomes a pleading for the person back. As such, it pretty much sums up the way it feels after a recent break-up when you weren't the one to break it up, captured in so few words.

I think the last stanza could have been a little more emotional before asking what part of the world the person now was, but that is my only (and it is minor) quibble.

I liked the way this was constructed with the growing line length at the start, and the way the emotion changed.

Nice job. Hood luck going forward.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
17
17
Review of Thankful.  
Review by s
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This is a strong personal piece. I am guessing it is autobiographical from the tone and your sub-heading, and, as such, you have told us what you are thankful for, and explained why without overloading the reader with too much.

I often feel I want more emotion and feelings in a piece like this, but this didn't need it because that did not seem to be the point. It felt like it was urging others to look at their lives with a more positive outlook.

Thankyou for sharing and thankyou for being so positive, despite what seems to be some negative experiences.

Good luck going forward.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
18
18
Review of Night Terrors  
Review by s
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Decent little horror tale here, using the lycanthrope myth in a modern setting.

You have captured some good build-up to the reveal, but then the monster is there. Gunshot, reveal. That build-up stops a little. And when you describe the wolfman, it is all physical; how was Dan feeling, how did his body react physically, were there smells, was there anything beforehand? It was like the monster was there, it was gone, and they got on with things. I wanted more horror and terror and disbelief, but it felt muted after the monster appeared.

Still, the rest of the story worked well. Nice job. Good luck going forward.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
19
19
Review by s
Rated: E | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Fun look at the search for the Grail.

While I understand very well the limits a small and strict word count can place on a piece, this felt upside down in structure. What I mean is that you have a lot of detail building up to the end, and then, the journey and discovery is really glossed over. I think adding detail to the ending and losing it from the start would just make the ending feel more important.

That is, of course, just this reader's opinion.

Good luck going forward.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
20
20
Review of Soul Sucker  
Review by s
Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


You had this down as poetry, ad you mentioned it was personal, but to me it came across more like the lyrics to a song, an angry song, one that probably needs a rock music backing.

You are very honest and open here, and that makes for a powerful piece of writing. Technically, "there just upside down" should be "they're just upside down". That's all. Nice.

This is a really good piece, and I would really recommend finding a musician to add the tune (with your help and idea); this would really work.

Good luck going forward.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
21
21
Review by s
Rated: E | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


This is a good start to a journal. As I write this, there are only three entries, but they are all quite recent, so I am guessing more are to come. As it is a journal/blog, mentioning technical issues like spelling and punctuation does seem churlish, but there are some things there.

However, it is the content. You are asking questions and trying to engage the reader, but it lacks more about you to make the reader feel sharing is a two-way street. How do you feel about your military life? What about being a mother gets you? Why does photography appeal to you? You have us right on the edge, almost there.

As you go on, I am sure you will feel more confident sharing more details, and this this is still a fine start.

Good luck going forward with this.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
22
22
Review of Farewell  
Review by s
Rated: E | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


This is a nice and sentimental look at the final game of a baseball player. You have not indicated that this is autobiographical, so I will assume it is made up.

You have covered the details of the game, the pitches, the reactions of the players and crowd well. It reads like the report done by a local sports journalist.

And that is the issue I have with this story. It lacks the emotion. It's his last game and he knows it. Where is the emotion? Is he relieved? Nervous? Sad/ happy? All of them? How is he really feeling as the game progresses. We need to have more of him to make the story something the reader can get into.

Still, you have detailed it well. Good luck going forward.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
23
23
Review by s
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
I have not come across a rondeau at WdC before and you have handled it really well. It looks to be a challenging form, and yet you managed it without forced rhymes and using that refrain well.

As for the content of the poem, it feels like a sense of depression before a glimmer of hope in the final sestet, which is always a good strength to show in a poem.

I think only one line didn't quite work for me - "My youth has fled, no need to pout." The word "pout" feels too mild and almost childish when compared to the rest of the poem. I do know there is a rhyme and rhythm scheme to stick to, so I have no real alternate suggestions, but that word drew me out.

Still, all in all, a strong poem. Thank you for sharing, and good luck going forward.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
24
24
Review by s
Rated: E | (3.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


You have posed some interesting questions in this short piece. But all you have done is pose questions. Everyone has their own definition of success; sometimes success ceases to be a success later on in life. And you mention that regression can also result in success. I think there needs to be a little more explanation here.

If you want my response - my younger me would consider me a success as I have achieved all my life goals; my current me does not consider me a success. How is that quantified here?

This does pose some interesting questions, but it does feel a little nebulous.
25
25
Review by s
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


This feels like the start of a much longer piece. There is a set-up, something happening, and then a constant shadow. And that's it. We are told everything, and not shown much at all. You have so much scope to add feelings, sensations, emotions, to drive up the creepiness and add to the horror of the piece. As it is, it almost reads like an outline or, like i said, the opening section, the set-up, for something else.

Technically, one little thing:
“Here” -she showed it to me- “My sister found it...
should probably be
“Here.” She showed it to me. “My sister found it...
This is because it is not an interruption in a single sentence.
Apart from that, nicely done.

Sorry if this feels negative, but there is a strong idea here that just needs some more meat on the bones to make it really scary.

Good luck going forward.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
731 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 30 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/stevengepp