I am trying to contain my giggling, as I am still at work. I am sure clients will think that I have gone mad. I wasn't sure where this was going at first, but you caught me with the line "That's awful, Thomas. Just... awful." I could see the disgust just by simple punctuation.
The tub full of eggplants was the icing on the cake. Well done!!! Very creative, and wouldn't make a bad awareness piece for the newspapers that DON'T pay attention to spelling and grammar!
I wasn't quite sure about the part crossed out at 6 pm, it confused me a bit only because I wasn't sure if it was something the cat had thought and then woke from his foodless stupor, but otherwise this is hysterical!
I especially enjoyed the parts about strutting around to re-affirm tough-cat status, and that the cat may request to be burried with its toys. I had a cat that constantly pranced around with a toy, and seemed quite insulted when anyone else played with them.
And they do seem quite indignant when they aren't given the good food.... my father's cat is the queen of "What's this crap?" looks.
Keep up the great work! I'm always tickled on others pondering their animals! (Our masters?)
Holy cow! Well done! I can see the imagery and it's not overdone. I was one of the few kids who was terrified to try new and dangerous things in my teens... I always felt like I was in the sand watching my friends "float away". I have a lot of friends now, as adults, that have either recovered from various addictions, are recovering from addictions, or succombed to them... it's a terrible thing to watch from the outside, and you nailed it.
I enjoyed the piece, right up to the last paragraph. I will honestly say, I am one of those who gets a little queezy at the thought of Artificial Intelligence. The Jetson's always kind of freaked me out. The emotion brought out in the story was great. It made the queaze feeling come out, and fear, as well. The only part of your piece that bothered me was the second sentence in the final paragraph.... the piece was so well written and descriptive, and then I saw the sentence "Big mistake." In all honesty, it's something I catch myself doing, so maybe that's why I noticed it more. It just seemed a little out of place - almost like slang.
Other than that, the piece really captured the fear people like me have. I'm not so sure if that's good or bad, considering people think I'm crazy for fearing AI, but you nailed it! HA!
Take care and keep up the great work!!
Miranda
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/stoneheart
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 8:50am on Dec 23, 2024 via server WEBX1.