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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/stradella
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20 Public Reviews Given
20 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of With you...  Open in new Window.
Review by Graham Douglas Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Lovely poem and expresses love well
2
2
Review of The Truth of War  Open in new Window.
Review by Graham Douglas Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Many thanks for your poem very much in the spirit of the First World Poets such as Rupert Brooke

Your imagery is excellent and expresses your them very well in these few lines.

Best wishes with your future writing - Graham
3
3
Review of Armor dusted  Open in new Window.
Review by Graham Douglas Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Great poem!

In particular I liked the lines:
The truth arrived
right on time
casting all away.

Very expressive language and imagery.

best wishes with your writing - Graham
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4
Review of Cold years  Open in new Window.
Review by Graham Douglas Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Thank you for this most thought provoking piece.

I liked it very much. Indeed I have often thought of our colonies on Mars becoming a seperate nation. Actually, the our future descendants born on Mars may not be able to come here due to the vast increasee in gravity.

Sadly some of your other predictions may come to pass. But if we keep writing about them, we may change this future.

Every best wish for your next piece - Graham
5
5
Review by Graham Douglas Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Thanks for this piece exploring the human reaction to the puzzle of time.

I am not sure about the abbreviated words; possibly you were conveying the view of someone speaking in the venacular. The poem also has the a rythm like a rap and that might be your reason.

However, for me at least, the first lines are the most powerful and very memorable.

Every best wish with your writing - Graham
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Review by Graham Douglas Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Thanks for this very interesting poem that presents us with enigmas about its subject.

Simple but it says so much and asks even more.

By the way, there was an interview on the radio this morning with a celebrated Irish author whose latest novel is one continuous sentence and its spans just one hour.

Sparse writing then can convey meaning may better an excess.

Good fortune in your writing - Graham
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7
Review by Graham Douglas Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
As a vet, I thank you for thinking of service personnel serving their country.
A letter from home means so much; I hope this finds its way to a recipient keen to hear your news of peace and home.

I love your discription of the farm animals and would be keen to meet Bosco. You communicate what your soldier might be fighting for very well.

Best regards - Graham
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8
Review by Graham Douglas Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Thanks for this.

It's full of contrasts which fascinate. The rich scenary against Delia's poverty.
There us the twist in the tail - is she really in some form of Holy Orders or merely an allusion?

You Certainly have a good descriptive 'eye' for your scene and that smell of coffee haunts.

Finally, you bring the story to a neat close albeit with the hook I have already mentioned.

An excellent read - Graham

{bitem:1300305
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Review of the seven nomads  Open in new Window.
Review by Graham Douglas Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
hi Jay

Thanks for sharing this piece and I look forward to reading more of Mariah. You have a good sense of description of your characters' world.

Like the idea of an elf being called Charlie!

Maybe a final line moving the characters on as Nomads would give a greater sense of story completion - what do you think?

As an idea - what about taking away the last line and using somethin like - ...standing alone. To be a nomad is always to be alone'

Just a suggestion and every best wish with your writing - Graham
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10
Review by Graham Douglas Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Many thanks for this. I once heard a wonderful story of the wedding couple in old age drinking the last of the wine Christ created. I like they idea of being a 'roving reporter' and it is a new way to look at a familiar narrative.
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