HI ken,
It is a mushy poem. And it's funny too. Hard to imagine that a guy has written it and a dog-lover too.
But overall, A well written poem. All the best
Happy writing,
Muskaan
Hi there,
It's a beautiful piece. Especially the description part. Just reading your smooth flow of words, cant stop imagining the whole scene playing in my mind. hope you follow the compliment i just showered on you. :)
Wish you all the best
Happy writing,
Muskaan
Hi there,
I really liked the content of your poem. Very intense and meaningful. But I feel if you place few words properly here and there , and give few spaces in between lines, It'll be a better visual to read. But overall, It's a good read.
All the best for your future work.
Happy writing :)
Muskaan
Hi there,
I really liked your piece and the way you write. My favourite part is :
My thoughts take me away from the reality of my current sardine-like environment of frequent stops and body odor. I don’t see the grayness of blank faces turtling into jacket collars and stocking caps. I can’t hear the Arty propaganda piped in surround sound for the benefit of me and my fellow bus prisoners. There is only Mary.
Hi Carrie,
This is a lovely poem describing the love of a mother for her daughter.
Though there are no rhymes and symmetry but you still have done a good job.
The lines I liked the most are:
I wanted you to achieve everything you could and rise above.
I will always be here no matter what time of day, you can always come home no matter the strife.
happy writing :)
Muskaan
My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .{/b}
Hi there,
I really liked your piece. It is full of love. Your way with words is beautiful. The part I liked is-
if I were in a dreamy land as moon, I would light a path where you will find a world feeling dark and stormy and your world will fall a part. I will never let any misunderstanding in our relationship, ever at seconds it will come I will wash it off as rain. Flood your world with happiness and will show how beautiful the world of love is. Like a sun, I will dry all tears, your loneliness, and tensions within a while. Like a wind I will blow you a kiss, tug on your heart and give you a memory to miss someone. Like a cold I will give you a feeling of sensation and shivering love. I would breeze you for the day with appreciation of your beauty in all possible way.
HAPPY WRITING,
MUSKAAN
Hi Mark,
I liked your work. Very easy and simple to understand.It seems interesting to know a Man's point of view on companionship. It is important to everybody. Isn't it? even if it is for short span of time.
I like the way the guy's emotions are portrayed.
Happy writing,
Muskaan
Hi Miranda,
Your piece is quite gripping.It portrays the truth happening around the world. School massacres are getting popular. It's a horrible thing. Very good piece.
Happy writing,
Muskaan
HI,
You give some incentive to review your work.I liked your story. I'm a die-hard romantic at heart. So I liked it.
I like the way you described the mood of a person and the walk.
'Her walk, reminiscent of her mood, was slow and resistant.'
Happy writing,
Muskaan
Hey Ash,
Your poem is really funny and so true. So many guys are confused with what they want in a girl. And you have portrayed it so well. The whole poem is nice so cant pinpoint on one line.
Happy writing,
Muskaan
Hi Shishir,
It is a wonderful poem on friendship. But I feel you can do a better job than this If you try again.
It is my opinion. Just a suggestion.
Happy writing,
Muskaan
Hi there,
Very Interesting I'd say. And not complicated at all. Easy to understand inspite of usage of so many words.
Good work,
Happy writing,
Muskaan
Hey there,
Welcome after a break. You certainly give everybody some incentive to view your work. :)
The parts 48, 51 and 52 are certainly very interesting.
How you manage such erotic wishful thinking... only if i can get my forever- busy hubby to read this!!!
LOL.
Just what I was expecting.
All the Best,
Muskaan
Hi there,
It's a beautiful poem. Because it is about natural beauty and not man-made. Which is so easy to acquire nowadays.
So glad to know that there are some people who admire women,just the way they are.
Keep on the good work,
Muskaan
Hi There,
I really liked the message behind your poem. It is so true . People are really negative with each other. Hope it changes soon. People should know that Love comes first. The lines I liked the most are:
It’s time to love and celebrate
The help and strength of others,
And not be so downcast toward
Our sisters and our brothers…
Happy Writing,
Muskaan
Hi,
I've learned French for a couple of months and I love it. It's a tough language though. You are very fluent in english too. Your writing says so. Don's push yourself to grasp english. Let it come to you naturally.
It happens sometimes, You develop a block without any reason.
Wish you all the best.
Muskaan
Hey Stephen,
It's a wonderful piece.I love nature too. And I know how you feel when surrounded with nature. But you should always start a new para with capital alphabets.Try to change it if possible.. I have written something similar. The title is 'Love the sun when it shines'
Check it out and let me know if you liked it.
Muskaan.
Hi Mark,
This is a beautiful poem. The message it conveys is nice and simple. I don't believe in the formation and rhyming of the poem. But many people are particular about it. Wish you all the best for your future work.
Happy writing :)
Muskaan
Hey again Ellisson,
You keep pulling me to your story. Thanks to your GPs. I liked this term ‘come fuck me heels’. lol.
This is the part I liked:
A vampire bite is usually a pleasant...... He doesn’t know I’ve read that his deepest desire is to have a pack of his own.
Happy writing,
Muskaan
Hey Ellison,
I liked your third chapter too. And it is what you promised. Very Exciting and Very hot.. The whole chapter is interesting but the part I liked the most is this:
His face is twisted with his longing and he gently closes the link between us. Never fear, I’ll not leave you hanging.... Even though he’s closed the link I know my thoughts can get through when I try. The closing is more like a sheer curtain for privacy than an all out closed door.
Phew!
Good work
Muskaan
Hey there,
That is indeed funny. Cooking is really a tiring task. Your poem is funny displaying your fear towards Kitchen,it's tools and appliances, ingredients and many other things. lol
Wish you all the best in writing and cooking and Bless those people whose mouths you feed.(hope it's taken in a light manner. Just kidding)
Muskaan.
Hey Ellison,
I found your story very dark and interesting. I haven't read the 1st part but got the hang of it somehow. Very descriptive I'd say.The part I liked the most is-
I need to get in the right mood to project well when they arrive. I let my thoughts go back to last night. My german god with his smooth pale skin is glowing from the candle light set around our room. He has on the tight boxer briefs he knows I love so well. They curve and cup his body and don’t hide when he becomes interested. The warmth in my middle starts to move throughout my limbs. I have a burning desire to pull my dress up around my waist right here in the lobby. It certainly wouldn’t be the first time, but I’d rather not forget myself like that more than once a season. My body opens at the thought and I get excited by the prospect of doing just that in front of complete strangers.
HAppy writing,
Muskaan
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