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Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi, I’m reviewing this poem as next in line at I Write in 24.

This activity is one of my favourites. Express it Eight, it sounds easy to do, and sometimes it come easily, other times it can be a struggle to express what needs to be said in such a constrained and restricted way.

Adamant. An interesting prompt. One which you successfully achieved.
The gif is a perfect addition. The character appears to be on a mission and nothing will get in his way.
There are people in this world who stick to their guns and nothing will persuade them to either change their minds or even see another way or someone else’s point of view. They are right, they are sure, they are ADAMANT.
The second stanza is something I ought to have on my fridge to remind me not to give up. Whether it’s a plan to get fit, lose weight, or finish that story I began to write last year!

Retreat is not an option.
Wrong or right
My path is set...
And I'll keep going till the end.

Thank you for sharing this inspiring poem.
Sue


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Joyful Butterfly  
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi, Jo, as promised I paid a visit to your portfolio and found to my delight your beautiful poetry. I read each one in awe of your talent. You selected each word perfectly. I enjoyed all of the poems equally. However this one painted such a beautiful picture in my mind I needed to send you my thoughts.

The first couple of stanzas portrayed concern and worry. I wondered why the angler was feeling so down about not catching a rainbow trout for his supper. (After all they are slippery creatures.)

It is as if the poem then takes a different, lighter feeling once through the overhanging branches and the writer sees the beauty in a day previously so filled with concern and worry.

A cloud of yellow butterflies, children playing, the sounds of laughter and joy. Suddenly the day is transformed , worry about the upcoming surgery dissipates and all is well.

Jo, thank you so much for starting my day on such a joyful note.
Sue


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Well, Jeff, that was the best laugh I’ve ever had here at WdC. In fact I don’t think I’ve read anything before which raised more than a wry smile.

I actually was ignorant of many of the references, not being a fan of the superhero genre. And do you know what? It didn’t matter!
The videos were great and enhanced the story, made it even more enjoyable, and very cleverly done I might add.

There were so many clever, amusing lines it would be difficult to choose any particular scene. I loved the taxi driver’s casual, accepting attitude though, some very funny lines there.

The one line which actually made me laugh out loud was the one when the taxi driver asks incredulously why Black Beauty was on the naughty list and he answers ominously HE KNOWS WHAT HE DID.

This is a very cleverly presented item and one I didn’t expect to enjoy or even like but you proved me wrong. I don’t know if there was a prize on offer for the entry but it deserves the number one spot.

Thank you so much for sharing an unusual and entertaining story.
Sue


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi, Ruwth, I honestly loved reading this birthday blog entry. I’m jealous of all the dogs you’ve had and continue to share with your family.
Isn’t amazing how different dogs are? Not only in breed and appearances but in their personality and temperament. You can have several dogs who look exactly alike but are totally different in the way they see life. Of course training has much to do with it and the way they are treated. All the dogs in my life have been inside dogs. I can’t say I enjoy seeing a dog on a chain or being outside all the time. But working dogs are different I suppose.
I used to be frightened of dogs when I was a child. That was back in the day when dogs were allowed to roam the streets. I would make long detours to avoid passing a strange dog.
I know you have quite a few German Shepherds in your family. I’ve never really got to know one and have always been a little hesitant to approach one. I suppose it’s because I was bitten by one when I was delivering something to a house one day. It seemed very friendly when I approached but jumped up me when I was leaving and bit me on my back.
I do love most breeds though and I agree with you about Airedales, they are charming. Our children have a variety of dogs too. One has Labradoodles, they are lovely, friendly and a bit goofy. Our son haa a Blue Heeler, an Australian breed. They are too energetic and nip your heels as if he’s rounding up a mob of sheep.
Our dog is a Weinmarana. 12 years old and a sweetheart.
So thanks again for telling us about the dogs in your family, it was a treat.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
5
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Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi, Beholden I was just skimming through the Newsletters and came across the Editors Pick in which your story was included.

I haven’t read many stories of yours except of course for the eight line poems which I check out most evenings.

The scene was set beautifully, I could almost feel the humidity and the weirdness of the forest.
You convinced me of a carnivore prowling outside the tent intent on feeding on the poor soul quivering inside. The tension was palpable.

At last I could release the breath I hardly knew I was holding when you revealed the ‘monster’ was in fact a harmless puppy dog.

Thank you taking me on a very short journey from fear to laughter.

Cheers Sue


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi, Mike, I’m reviewing this article/travelogue as next in line at I Write in 24.
Oh, my, it is such an interesting read. I loved hearing about the historical
events and your own personal experiences.
I can’t even begin to imagine the cold night spent at a castle in Luxembourg. How the people who lived in them permanently ever survived is something I often wonder about when watching historical films.

You must have great memories of your time in the military especially the year of your wedding in Germany. Your honeymoon sounds delightful and sitting on the rear seat of the coach although uncomfortable is something that stays with you and is probably the thing which you speak about most when reminiscing. I’ve always thought the times when plans go awry are which give us the strongest memories and not the posh hotels or long lazy beach holidays.

I loved reading about the 1920 Olympic history. The missing flag really intrigued me. One of our Olympic swimming champions, Dawn Fraser got removed from the Olympic village having removed the flag as a joke.
It’s amazing Harry got away with it for so long, and to be thanked for returning it all those years later is mind boggling.

You have had an interesting journey through life and I thank you for sharing some of them with us.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Fire  
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi, I came across this story as I was reading the other entries for the contest. I enjoyed the read very much. It certainly meets the criteria for a story of horror.
The fascination with fire steadily grows as the character grows in age.
With trial and error he learns all there is to learn about fire’s requirements and the way it behaves in certain situations. It was as if they grew together, child and fire, learning about the needs of each other, until at last they were in sync and could play together and include others in their sick game.

My trance was only broken when I felt the flame hit my fingertips. no need for was.
You used the word was almost thirty times in the story. Perhaps read through and try to omit a few.

This is an excellent entry for this contest and I wish you all the best.
Sue.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a wonderfully creative and humorous story set in a prehistoric era with a modern twist.
Since the story is set in prehistoric times, it might help to describe the environment briefly in the beginning. Such as “At the dawn of time, when mammoths roamed and saber-toothed cats prowled, an enterprising caveman, known as Swarthy Zob, lived at the far end of the cave village.”

The story has a delightful sense of humour, especially with the anachronisms and Zob’s misunderstanding of words.

The moment leading up to Zob presenting the cloak could be drawn out slightly to increase suspense. Maybe describe Zob’s nervous thoughts or the intimidating presence of Neb and the clubsmen.
Example: “Zob's heart pounded in his chest as he watched the procession approach…

The conclusion is strong, but you could emphasise the lasting impact of Zob's creation on future generations or draw a parallel to modern-day fashion trends.
Example: “And so, from that day forward, the finest courts in history would be adorned with the humble weasel, rebranded as the majestic sable and ermine—proof that with a little spin, even the simplest of things could become extraordinary.”

Ensure that Zuk is consistently referred to as "Not-tall Zuk" or "Zuk" throughout the story to avoid confusion.

Check for typos and repetition.
These tweaks could enhance the flow, deepen character engagement, and make the humour even more pronounced while maintaining the charm of your story.
Thank you for sharing.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Little Paws  
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, I’m reviewing this little gem as next in line in I Write in 24.
Your poem is just a random thought about when your precious pet will no longer be with you. I imagined him/ her to be a dog but it works just as well with a cat. In fact it probably is a cat as she walked through some paint which was left somewhere she could access.
The poem resurrected past nostalgic thoughts about a time when I too scolded a pet for making a mess and yet would give anything to have her here making the same mess.
I needed to read it through carefully a couple of times to get the picture though. Perhaps it would have read better with some punctuation.

Thanks for sharing and let’s keep loving those messy pets for as long as we can.
Sue.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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for entry "Memorable Places" 
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi Jeff, thank you for an interesting blog entry,

I’m reading and reviewing this as next in line in I write in 24.

Each place you mentioned was different and unique in the memories they each hold for you.

The house at the lake was special for you because it was where you spent much of your formative years and of course because of your grandparents. I can imagine the mixed feelings you must have experienced when you saw the alterations the next owners had done to the place, and at the same time destroying the image you held dear.

The beach was where your wedding took place. Obviously that day was firmly entrenched and to have successfully replicated the table setting and the atmosphere of the previous year was nothing less than astonishing. It showed your true romanticism.

The Railway station in France brought memories of my own to the fore. When we landed in Vietnam as a couple who spoke none of the language and finding few of the population spoke any english, we as you must have done , realised how foreigners must feel when they arrive in the USA or Australia.

The children’s court house held mixed emotions for you and your wife. A place where I’m sure held your lowest to the highest of emotions. Of course I’m happy for you that the final decision at the court made your family official. You must be the best of parents.

Of course the last venue is a place we all relate to as somewhere where magic happens. We all I’m sure imagine that each day at work for you is magic but we all know each job has its downside as yours probably has. But I may be actually wrong and every day of your life at work is amazing. Maybe just don’t burst my bubble😂

Overall a really interesting blog entry. Thank you for sharing.
Sue.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of The Long Walk  
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi, Genipher, thank you so much for a great read. I smiled through the whole story. It read so true. I can imagine the naivety of a child your age. I gasped when you wrote it had taken about thirty minutes to drive to the strawberry fields. As it was a country road your dad was probably travelling at about 100 kilometres an hour and when you thought it would only take you an hour or so for the return journey I thought “Oh no!”
You described the day wonderfully and I was on the road in the heat of the day with those two little girls wishing with all my heart that all would end well.
You fulfilled the requirements of the prompt with the bolded words but I’m sure it’s some tale you have related many times or at least you remember when you recollect your childhood with your sister. I wonder, did she ever forgive you?
I honestly laughed out loud as I read it.
I was frustrated by the lady who was suspicious of two tired, hot, obviously distressed children though. What on earth did she think was so risky by inviting you inside out of the hot sun. I was pleased you had the sense not to accept the lift offered by the truck driver,your parents had obviously warned you about stranger danger.
A great yarn, well told.
Sue


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi, Kare, what a delightful trio of stories about the trials of life in the compost heap..

The first Drabble, ‘After the Thaw’ introduced the reader to the renewal phase, a time when the youngster made their appearance. The names are delightful. It was a time of bounty, of reproduction and happiness

The second Drabble was set in a time of great danger. The creatures needed conditions to be perfect to create a home. Summer was the enemy and try as they may they simply couldn’t stand the heat in the kitchen.
But danger lurked as they slithered out of the heap to seek welcome shade and moisture. Only the lucky made it and we were left to mourne those less fortunate.

The third and final story told of the coming ice age. Aggy and Maggie mourned their lost friends and family members but knew they must survive whatever was thrown at them, whether it be flooding or icicles forming on their compost heap. They were nearing the end of their reserves when the compost builder remembered them and gave them shelter. It seemed they would survive to live another day and relate their many hardships to the next generation.

Who would have thought so much life, drama, and danger could possibly occur under a decaying heap of food scraps, grass cuttings and leaves.

Thanks again, Kare, for giving me a light read before bedtime.
Sue


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Saul Corn  
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello, I’m returning the favour and I’ve just checked on your ‘Trabble.’

I really thought all three stories stood on their own. Each told a story of a part of Saul’s life.

Your stories are each from an historical perspective I know little to nothing about, but have similarities, especially the final one, with the aboriginal stories of the settlement of Australia.

The Europeans declared Australia uninhabited even though the indigenous peoples had lived there for thousands of years. They took their land, their people as slaves and the children away from their mothers too.

A great entry for week eight.
Thanks for sharing your three Drabbles. A good read.
Sue


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of INXS X  
for entry "Suicide Blonde" 
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi, I’m reviewing this story as next in line at I Write in 24.
Well I must start with saying I really enjoyed the second last paragraph, it made me give a laugh out loud with satisfaction.

The first couple of paragraphs set the scene for an upcoming mystery which promised to unfold if the reader chose to continue.

The club Tango, a place of ill repute, busy at the time of day when most people are at work, having a sandwich at their desks. But the protagonist in this story was intent on fulfilling his secret desire.

This philanderer had obviously had many sexual exploits outside of marriage and was intrigued to discover which one of his dalliances had sent him the invitation for a little afternoon delight.

The rest of the paragraphs are detailing the sexual strip tease and dance. I have to say all her moves were described in detail and each move raised his excitement to a level which was almost palpable as the story progressed.

The expose at the end when his wife proves to be the exotic dancer was priceless.

It was obviously written after reading the lyrics to the song, Suicide Blonde. It wasn’t a song with which I was familiar but your story and the song went well together.

Thanks for sharing both the story and the lyrics. It’s a fun read.

Sue.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi, Kare, I just read your entry in the Bard’s Hall Contest. As usual I’m in awe of your ability to look at yourself and your life and be able to write critically, honestly. and impationately.
I never understood that song really. “I’ve been to paradise but I’ve never been to me.”
Your blog has made me understand it a little more.

I’ve always said life would be perfect if we could just write other people’s scripts. What I mean by that is if every conversation or argument or apology went the way we wished it could, then maybe that would be paradise.
What made me think of that was your lines: A fantasy we created about people and places. As we like them to be

Life is, or can be for most people, pretty tough. I loved this paragraph:
However, stumbling around in life like a rough stone in a tumbler lead to pieces of me breaking off. Some of those pieces I still mourn. But what's left?

That’s such a great analogy. I’m sure most of us feel that way but don’t have the words to express it. We begin our lives whole, but by the time we’ve almost finished our turn, we’re damaged, often in body but also in soul. We inevitably lose trust and that’s a hard one. But it’s a lesson we all must learn to survive this new world of scammers; those who want to steal our money or our hearts.

But, Kare, we might be missing a few bits which we started our life with but we also gain things. We gain friendships, the ones that are few but precious. We inevitably gain wisdom, not all of us use that wisdom but we have learned so much about life and how it works. Yes, we become cynical, but also see the good in people. And we know ourselves completely and can list our traits, both good and bad, as you did so well.

I enjoyed reading this entry and perhaps now I’m a little nearer to be being me.
Thanks for sharing your beautiful, personal, expose.
Sue.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi, Kare, because it’s your anniversary this month I invited myself into your portfolio, I hope you don’t mind. I’m always intrigued by your writing style anyway, it’s always different to anyone else’s work I’ve ever read.

Take this contest prompt: write a letter to yourself asking your future plans for the year. The format you used, questioning and then answering yourself was cleverly done. It was sad but at the same time humorous. Maybe it wasn’t intentionally meant to bring even a ghost of a smile but I find life ridiculous at times and I appreciated the irony.

We have little option but to keep putting on foot in front of the other or as you point out the only other choice is number one.

The second rule is the one i liked best:

2. Plan.

Make a plan for the next two years.
What are my options?
Make a plan A, a plan B and be happy; don't worry.
I worry all the time.
See #1 and save yourself some trouble.

It’s a little harsh but it’s true enough. I know it’s hard when your tired, depressed or just can’t see the point of life, but believe me it’s just as hard being that other voice, the one that attempts to lift up, encourage or suggest strategies for life’s improvement.

I like your other voice, the one that doesn’t pull punches.

As always this letter to yourself made me think about your life, my own life and the life of someone I spend many hours a week trying to lift out of a hole.

I never enter the Dear Me contest because most of them and no doubt my own would be bland. But bland is never an adjective I could ever put on any of your work, whether it’s a blog, prose, or poetry.

If I’d have been a judge you would have won first prize, Kare.

Take care, thank you for sharing you personal missive to yourself. I do hope your alter ego’s voice spurred you on to avoid choice number one at all costs.
Sue.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Grief  
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello, welcome to WdC, a place where you can share your stories and receive honest feedback if you ask for it.

I found your story on Read and Review and read it through twice. It’s a story told from the heart, beautifully written.

It’s a story of family, not just any family but of your own, unique and special group of people. It’s spans many years, with memories which have been captured in your mind.

Memories are like wisps of fog sometimes and when we try to make them solid, to capture them, turn them into words on a page they may not be exactly as they happened but they are your truth.

Your much loved brother, Andy, held a special place for you and your siblings. He was brave and courageous in so many ways, but fallible and also very sick.

Mental illness affects so many and the effect on those around the mentally ill person can be profound. I can say this as someone who has been dealing with a close family member with the illness for many years.

Your love for Andy shines through in your writing and you’ve been able to see beyond his accusations of actions that never happened and words which were never said.

You have written a fitting story of his and your life. Of a childhood, not perfect, but filled with love.

This is my favourite paragraph: But there, just out of the corner of his eye, when he glanced at me, with a devilish grin on his face would be Andy. Standing completely confident in himself, astride the highest point of Faulkner’s bridge, looking every inch the Coen boy, frozen at least for my lifetime as a memory of who he was.

This memory jumps off the page. I can see him standing on that bridge.

There are a couple of words which may or may not be incorrect.
crochet was a contact sport Did you mean croquet?

We all huddled around a huge trussell table, giving thanks for our food.. Did you mean trestle table?

I couldn’t see any grammatical errors, although there may be some but I was so caught up in the story of Andy and your family I could have missed them.

The one thing I’ll take away from reading the story was your undying love and the lines: Because he never lost the ability to see past his illness. He never forgot how to love.

Thank you so much for sharing. I felt honoured to read and review it.
Sue


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of 'I hear no news'  
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi, Kare, I see that June 2005 is your anniversary. Congratulations on nearly 20 years at WdC.

I read the list you posted on Newsfeed today. It includes some of the many poems you wrote in 2005. Some had over 200 comments! I should imagine receiving that many comments these days would be remarkable by any standard; I’ve never had anywhere near so many personally and would be delighted to have such a reach.

You asked for thoughts on the least read or commented on poems and this one, Epistle to a Friend, caught my eye.

I can’t honestly say I completely understood the words, other than to say it felt a little like reading Shakespeare. I have a better understanding of the bard now but at school I felt out of my depth.

I read and reread the beautiful words in an attempt to grasp the full meaning, something I could take from the poem which pertained to my own life.

A line which called to me was If ignorance be bliss, then this be heaven! This line I can relate to. So many times my conscience has nudged me to call or write to find out the latest news, (drama) and yet I’ve put it off, delayed the inevitable, just for a little while longer.

I know I shouldn’t ask to be drip fed, to have your words explained, so I’ll just revel in their eloquence.
Sue.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of First year  
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi, Kare, as a great grandmother I’ve witness so many firsts. Yet the magic still remains. I’m still brought to tears when I hold another newborn. That strong grip from tiny fingers as they hold on as if their very existence depends upon it. They are so perfect. Perfect features, fingers, toes and skin. It’s more than magic this miracle of birth, this natural urge to get from the floor onto tiny feet, no matter how many painful bumps and trips. To walk upright, balancing precariously, parental hands at the ready to catch.
Thank you for your beautifully written words which have reminded me of all those moments.
Next week we welcome our sixth great grandchild and once again I’ll breathe in that scent of innocence, of newness, of a future still to be written.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Night and Day  
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi, Ned, I found this story which you wrote some years ago in the Read and Review forum.

It was a great little story of two people destined by fate to collide for just a few moments, and with what I might add was with an explosive result.

It kept me guessing the whole time as to what would happen when Annabelle and Erasmus eventually met. I certainly didn’t guess the ending.

Poor Erasmus- I love the character’s name by the way- his heart was full of darkness and hatred. Annabelle on the other hand was the opposite, she could only see love and passion. Her longing and desires almost melted Erasmus’s cold dark heart.

But alas too late. Annabelle never got the chance to show Erasmus the love she had to share, to change him, to make him a better version of himself.

{When you wrote Annabelle hurried to chase her airborne scarf before it blew into the heavy morning traffic. She didn’t make it.
My first thought she’d been run over and killed. Was this your intention?
If it wasn’t perhaps you’d consider adding she didn’t make it in time before the scarf blew out of her reach.

Erasmus was a troubled man as are all those who hate the world so much they seek to destroy. Perhaps it would have taken more than the love of Annabelle to change him. But we’ll never know. Thank you for sharing.
Sue.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi, it’s a coincidence I get to review this sweet story of childhood innocence and pure joy as the next in line for I Write in 24. The reason being the weather here in Perth Western Australia has been so windy today and I said to my husband that it was good kite flying weather.

Kite flying is something I’ve not had the pleasure of doing for many years. Although we have children of kite flying ages in the family, sadly it’s not something that excites them.

When I was young we used to make our own. Finding two suitable sticks, covering them with paper and fashioning a tail with bows.

Thank you so much for writing this story and taking me back to happy times. It was probably written for the Daily Flash Fiction contest. You certainly fulfilled the requirements with the word count and the three word prompts.

Your description of flying a kite was very visual, the way a kite can nose dive suddenly and how the mother chased it as it taunted and teased, just out of reach. I could visualise it clearly.

You wrote: She pulled the pink band out of her hair and wrapped it around her wrist. You could have continued with this sentence, if you weren’t restricted by the word count, and explained how she tied the string to the hairband before securing it around her wrist.

Thank you for sharing a memory of kite flying with your children and sparking memories of my own.
Sue.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Ayla, I can’t tell you how interested I was to read your views of being alone. I’ve always craved at least a little time alone each day, and when I was constantly surrounded by children with no ‘me’ time I felt very stressed much of the time.

You wrote: In the presence of others, we're never entirely ourselves. I so agree with that sentence, but have wondered many times in the past if others even think about or ponder on that philosophical question. Do they realise they wear different masks? Do they ask the question you pose: "What is the mask, and what is me?"

Even to one’s partner, lover, or lifelong friend can we be really and truly oneself?

Have you found you use different personas depending on the situation?
I definitely use what my kids used to call my telephone voice to call businesses, the doctor etc., but when speaking to a friend I’m often the person who is upbeat, often to my own detriment.

I’ve never lived alone in all my almost eighty years of life, except for eight months when my husband worked away. During that time I actually lived (survived) on Subways such was my delight in not having to cook for anyone else. So was that when I was the real me?

At least we have our internal thoughts no one can access. Perhaps that’s where our true self lies.

In the television show, Alone, it’s not usually the hardships which eventually break the contestants, it’s being completely alone. Human beings are not meant to be alone. Perhaps we need others to truly be able to know ourselves, to differentiate ourselves from others.

Your piece was definitely thought provoking and I thank you for sharing your thoughts.




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi, Intuey, I found this story on the Read and Review forum.

Your title, ‘The Voice on the Back of the Wind,’ intrigued me enough to carry on reading. Your choice of text was different too, but it suited the tone of voice of the character who is relating the story. It was as if she had decided to reveal what had happened using an old typewriter.

I loved the narrator’s voice and the accent. It was as if she was telling a secret she’d been keeping for a long time and something, perhaps the voices on the back of the wind, were encouraging her to warn others to not stop listening at their peril.

There was only one line which I thought sounded as if it could have been written differently Dug a hole as deep as we were able to, over four days long. We dug and dug and dug. Maybe think of starting the sentence with Over four days long we dug a hole as deep as we were able to…

The story kept me on edge the whole time. I was sure even though they made sure ‘daddy,’ was truly dead, he was going to crawl right back out of that deep hole.

Thank you for sharing a tale of nature’s healing powers as well as her darker side.

Sue.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of viking funeral  
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hi, Charlie, I found this prose/poetry in the Please Review site.

You described the piece as a stream of consciousness and I could feel your pain.

The words were obviously written on the page quickly without much thought, as if writing them thus would transfer your hurt onto the paper.

The first line I knew it would hurt to yank the knife out but I didn’t know I’d miss it there. describes that angst perfectly.

You continue in that same vein, you speak of flesh missing even when it’s something as simple as having a body piercing. It’s a good analogy, a physical assault on your body being the same as the assault you feel to your soul, your heart.

All the way through the piece you find other ways of describing the hole you have in your body as if it is an actual injury. It’s quite confrontational to read your words. It’s as if you’re describing an actual fight or bloody battle with your lost lover.

I hope by being able to express your pain, anger and betrayal in this format you can find an acceptance of your new reality.

I can’t say I enjoyed reading about the end of your relationship but I surmised it wasn’t written for the enjoyment of others or even for yourself. Hopefully it was cathartic and you can start the healing which will inevitably occur.
I didn’t get the meaning of the title until the end and realised it was fitting.
Good luck in the future. Keep on writing.
Sue


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Letting go  
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi, Kare, thank you for sharing this beautiful prose. I read it several times, each time it resonated more.
I loved all the separate pieces and yet it was the second, ‘letting go of sadness,’ which brought me to tears. this letting go, this grieving, your hand slipping out of mine, your heart beating out of time, stopped forever. Is this my greatest sadness? These lines tugged at my heart and also the usually dormant fear of losing the person I’ve known intimately for over sixty years. It’s inevitably scares me.
The prose-poem begins in an upbeat manner, not obsessing about the could'ves, would'ves, should'ves, just letting go of balloons to pursue their dreams while walking through these dappled days of reality, feet to the ground, embracing small miracles along the way.
The words lifted me, made me want to go outside and release a balloon and watch it climb heavenward.
Your ways with words, Kare, is a wonderful talent. Within an instant you can change a reader’s mood. It’s a powerful attribute.
Thank you for lifting me up and making me cry with your words.
Sue


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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