I really like your poem and can identify with it mightily. You've rhymed pretty effortlessly...at least it LOOKS effortless, which is the key. I, personally, prefer rhyming poems, even though they take more time, because of exactly that--they take more time and your talent is showcased, in my opinion, by your ability to find words that fit.
As for the rest of it-you don't really need all those commas. Another mark of good poetry is that, even though you rhyme it, it should flow smoothly. You don't want that sing-song of Mother Goose, which is what the commas cause. Sometimes commas are a useful tool in poetry, but here, they take away from what you want to say. Read the poem to yourself, and find the completion of thought before you use punctuation.
Overall, this poem ROCKS.
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