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11 Public Reviews Given
11 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Ginkgo biloba  Open in new Window.
Review by Jaqueline Piper Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
As both a botany nerd and a lover of haiku, I think that this is fantastic. Well done.
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Review by Jaqueline Piper Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
My greatest compliment is also a warning. While maintaining riveting storytelling, it seems like you are setting the field for also addressing significant, prevailing, social issues. This is good!

Within the context of a novel that offers any political intention, racism and sexism can be powerful tools if used consciously. That is- if the authors' intent is to demonstrate something about the nature of dynamics between men and women, or people of different ethnicities, it remains valuable material. At the point that it becomes unconscious- that women become either sex objects or victims specifically because it is a widely-accepted cliche, for example- than all attempts at presenting social commentary of these issues as themes are undermined. (and I will mention also that it is a boring cliche of little value or interest in itself outside of chauvinistic fantasies, if that is what one is looking for).

What I'm saying here is that the writing it enjoyable, and I think where you are headed thematically could be of great impact- but only if you are selective and discerning. In the very least, as far as your readership goes please bear in mind that women bore quickly of art which fails to offer the potential to paint them in any inspiring context.
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Review by Jaqueline Piper Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Enjoyed this profusely! Most entertaining piece I've had the pleasure of reading on this site. If the tone was less playful, less of a speculative parody in itself I would object to what could potentially be seen as sexist ("especially the males"), but under these circumstances it is both tolerable and quite funny. Fantastic imagery, great dialogue.

The "god's bewilderment" theme would make a phenomenal format for a periodic digression (or chapter intro) in a non-fiction work discussing political circumstances and global issues.

Or alternatively- consider writing a play surrounding this theme. Very funny.
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Review of Radio Waves  Open in new Window.
Review by Jaqueline Piper Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
Fun and fast-paced, no pun intended. I like that you introduce an objective/goal for a protagonist early on (getting a nickname), but maybe consider making it a little more of a struggle for them earn it- a reader can only celebrate a characters' victories if they have paid witness to their challenges on the way. Maybe introduce some conflict between characters? (one doesn't think she deserves a nick name yet?). Also very much appreciate that you introduce a female protagonist in a traditionally very male-oriented, competitive field, as women are both underrepresented in literature and life in such areas.

Most importantly- if you are keen on writing on the topic of racing, I would highly, highly recommend reading "The Art of Racing in the Rain" by Garth Stein for technical information, in addition to an entertaining read.

Good luck.
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