Overall Impression: What an imaginative story this is! I enjoyed reading it for its sheer visualisation. Well done!
Plus Points: Your characters are very believable! I liked the role reversal at the end, it was so justified.
Suggestions: Keep writing :D
Overall Impression: This story is very interesting as it's subject so unique. You've changed my entire perspective about Guardian Angels.
Plus Points: I liked the characterisation of the Angel. He's too human to be an angel actually and that's a real neat thing. I loved the line "What's a halo?" - had me in splits; you've established here that our perception of certain things is simply based on the symbolism drawn for us by others.
Suggestions: Keep writing.
Overall Impression: I loved this story! It had me in splits. The prompt was a challenging one but you've risen to it with ease. And those pictures...those are too good [althought your scooba looks suspiciously like a weighing scale :D]
Plus Points: Smart use of language, very visual. I could easily see the poor cat shivering.
Suggestions: Can't wait for the MFY tale :D Keep Writing!
Overall Impression: Very well written. I couldn't agree with you more. I liked the two stanza style of your poem especially since you've contrasted them almost line for line.
Plus Points: You've maintained the free style of your verse while forcing it into lines that match each other. That's a good technique.
Suggestions: You need to correct just one typo erro:
"We look up to celebrities base on the characters they portray,"
I think you should change the word "base" to "based".
Do check it out.
All the best.
Overall Impression: This is a good interpretation of 'darkness'. The entire poem is well written.
Plus Points: Good use of imagery. It allows for good visualisation. The stanzas too are well formed.
Suggestions: I think you have the potential of a good poet. Keep writing.
Overall Impression: I was so moved by this story that I forgot it wasn't real. You have a knack for telling tales doc and you've made good use of your experience to combine the two.
Plus Points: I liked the way you've constructed the story. It starts from a simple plot of adoption and goes on to reveal a bond that's much stronger. Your choice of words make a strong impact and the technical terms are easy enough to understand.
Suggestions: Good going dr.t, keep writing :D
Overall Impression: What a neat poem this is! I really enjoyed reading it especially the part where you went about actually shattering all illusions.
Plus Points: The subject is extremely well handled and doesn't stall at any place. The lines read well even while dripping with the 'mistress's' smug attitude. You've really captured that well.
Suggestions: Keep writing!
Overall Impression: You have woven a fascinating land of dreams indeed. I liked reading this poem for its smooth flow and simple lines.
Plus Points: You have made good use of imagery to support your verse. I could visualise your words very well and that made for truly enjoyable reading.
Suggestions: Keep writing:D
Overall Impression: This is neat horror story. I liked the plot, although it could use a bit more punch.
Plus Points: I liked the visualisation and the simple narrative style. It certainly was hair-raising at the end, especially when the street lights went out. Brrrr...
Suggestions: You need to proof read and clear out all the typing and the spelling errors as well. Also to use the writing tags you need to use the curly brackets { }. You've used the normal ones instead ( )-do correct this error.
All the best.
Overall Impression: A lovely poem. I'm touched by its poignancy. It could easily be the lyrics of a romantic song.
Plus Points: You've used the symbol of music well. Imagery is also very good. I liked that the poem makes for an easy read.
Suggestions: It could use a little bit more passion but overall its well written.
Keep it up.
Overall Impression: A very good story indeed. The eternal battle between good and evil has been translated well. I liked the drama between the two ex-friends.
Plus Points: You are a story-teller, that I'll give you. That shows in this story. You have also used good visulisation. The story doesn't break at any point and makes for an easy read.
Suggestions: You need to work on your grammar and spellings. For instance: uptain should really be obtain. Maybe you could use a spell check and a grammar editing software? That way your story will read better without stalling.
All the best, keep writing because you can imagine well.
Overall Impression: A lovely description indeed. I could easily relate to your words. Especially the opening lines, I found them very powerful.
Plus Points: Your visualisation is excellent. Furthermore, the way you blended the initial lines when you are alone with the ones where you are surrounded with others was truly artistic.
Suggestions: Why don't you turn this into a poem? It will read much better.
All the best.
Overall Impression: I love the description of the area you've visited. The lines are so visual that I felt I was visiting the Creek along with you.
Plus Points: You've used good imagery to give life to your poem. Also the lines are written in a simple manner that facilitates easy reading.
Suggestions: Keep Writing :D
Overall Impression: I love poems that celebrate the beauty of Nature. The imagery used is so lovely that I could actually 'see' the scene before my eyes.
Plus Points: I loved the visual impact of this poem. You drew me into another world for a while. You also stayed true to the title of your poem- the scene does seem as beautiful as a painting. I also like the translation of your observation into meaningful verse.
Suggestions: Keep writing.
Overall Impression: Very introspective. Supported with strong lines, I liked the underlying elegance of the poem.
Plus Points: The stanzas are strong enough to stand on their own even while maintaining continuity. I think they could easily be interchanged and yet there won't be much of a difference to the gist of the poem. That's really wonderful.
Suggestions: Keep writing:D
Overall Impression: Sweet poem celebrating the love and strengths of a family.
Plus Points: It's always nice to read a positive poem like this. The lines flow smoothly from one to the other.
Suggestions: Perhaps you could add more lines to this verse? It's well written and that's why it's a pity it ends so soon.
All the best.
Overall Impact: Good way to teach ABC's to children. I loved the names strategy, I'm sure kids will relate to the animals better this way.
Plus Points: It's very visual so it'll make a good picture book with cute illustrations.
Suggestions: Maybe you could format it a bit to make it look better, just space out the paras. All in all, very well written.
Overall impression: this verse is so beautiful. i loved the imagery that you have used. it brought the entire scene before my eyes.
Plus Points: easy to read. use of the free form makes it sound soft and ethereal.
Suggestions: i wish it was longer. the scene that you've described is so lovely that i really wished i could read more and be lost in it for a while. well written.
Overall Impression: A very easy poem to read. Evokes just the right kind of surreal visualisation. Does justice to the title.
Plus Points: Good visualisation which is very important from a reader's point of view. Strong lines and equally strong stanzas. The verse doesn't fall slack.
BCD REVIEW
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Overall Impression: A well written poem for children. I liked the way you've described the creatures traits without sounding like it's a lesson to be learnt.
Plus Points: The poem has neat stanzas with easy rhymes.
Suggestions: You should use the good old 'comma' at the end of your lines for proper effect. You can also try and polish up the metre of the verse as it tends to sound slack in places.
All in all a good attempt. Keep it up.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
BCD REVIEW
Well written. I liked the twist at the end. You've sturctured the story well by putting it into two paragraphs. Makes for an easy read. Good job.
I simply love mother daughter stories as I'm a mother myself. You've captured the true soul of a mother very well. I liked the way you've handled the narrative, keeping only the mother's point of view. It makes a great impact. The sacrifice she makes waking up every hour is a poignant deed in itself. Her love, her worry, her hope essentially her world revolves around her child and you've put that into meaningful words. well done.
This is truly a disturbing verse to read. You have captured the fear of the victim and transferred it effortlessly onto the reader. I just found the formation of the stanzas a bit slack. Perhaps a complete free form would have sounded better? The point is when you read it out aloud, it sounds very repetitive. Although that is a good way to reiterate the main point of continuous abuse but it somehow wears on the reader who is expecting a little more depth.
very surreal and disturbing. i liked the imagery in this scene. it supports the visualisation very well. moreover you've engaged my interest and made me want to know more about this mysterious woman. well written. almost poetic in quality.
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.08 seconds at 12:01pm on Dec 31, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
