Beautiful, it really is beautiful. The short story/poem has a calm smooth cadance that comes up at the end nicely. tragic but svveet. One tip though, you sorta mixed religions there vvith the story about the tvvo children then moving over to Jonah and the VVhale. A minor hiccup, and doesn't detract from the vvork.
I have to say that I thought this was an erotic story, but I try to give them all a chance and I'm glad I did with this one. The plot seems to flow like a diary and mixes the write amount of realizem and truth with the slightly unorthidox theme. (S)He says "since I woke up" like the actual life altering event that it is. The charecter Audery is a little more set up and "acted" then a person would be,(I am talking about the main storyline with this review) and the changes seen a bit to fast; from shirts, to skirts, to a dress. The tandem with Ally and Kelly kissing is interesting, I don't see how that would actualy happen but that's why you are writing it, as you see relevant. I hope to read more chapters on thes line in the furture. And I must say that I am quite pleased with the length of the chapters, none under a thousand letters, that is the real backbone to the story. Have you thought of making this into a real, published book? I think it has that potential. keep writing and goodbye.
I have often been captivated by what I haven't or can't expirience. Living through another, seeing, not only with eyes, what they've seen. The mark of a great writer is to be able to make the reader see as the protragonist does, something you have obveusly have in great supply. If I may make a sugestion, Tumbledown is a great complement to your skill and you would most likely enjoy it.
The only other thing I can say is I don't like poetry, but this spoke to me.
Joker
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| (4.5)
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