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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/texasbelle
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34 Public Reviews Given
560 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of Revelation  Open in new Window.
Review by Texas Belle Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
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What a wonderfully constructed poem. It's badge of honor not only to take on this form but to master it.

Observations and such:

*Snow3* The careful construction of this piece is not only true to the form but you managed to remain consistent in developing the theme.

*Snow3* It is especially noteworthy because, I think this is correct, you constructed this piece using three words given you.

*Snow3* Well done!


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Review of Prom Queen  Open in new Window.
Review by Texas Belle Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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This is a perfect example of gut-raw minimalist poetry, it leads you down a path you think you want to go and the slaps your face with reality. Poetry at its best, the reader must react.

Observations and such:

*Snow3* The hiaku type formation of each line adds to the slight of hand that will come at the end.

*Snow3* You packed so much emotion into this poem and since it's "ripped from the headlines" there can be no denying the truth of it.

*Snow3* The use of the "prom queen" takes it to an unexpected audience.

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3
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Review of Soft Spring  Open in new Window.
Review by Texas Belle Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
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This is a wonderful pastoral piece.

Observations and such:

*Snow3* You capture the feeling we all have in those almost seasonal changes, especially the element of hope.

*Snow3* The bare bones verbage allows the reader to submit their own emotional feelings thus gently guiding the reader to the end.

*Snow3* The juxposition from beginning to death was so beautifully constructed. There is no feeling of a contrived ending.

*Snow3* The only suggestion for a change would possibly combining

no harm to lie
in greening pastures

into one line because causes an unnatural pause.



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4
Review of Searching  Open in new Window.
Review by Texas Belle Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
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The ultimate universal theme, searching for the meaning to life.

Observations and such:

*Snow3* You said what needed to be said and didn't try to satisfy that harpy inside that wants to ramble on. This is an admirable, and unteachable, trait in poetry.

*Snow3* The use of contrasting imagery (rough hands/tender mists) gives this simple piece such texture.

*Snow3* It was wonderful to read.



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5
5
Review by Texas Belle Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
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I may not be a "health nut" by pure definition but I love preservative, additive, using fresh ingredients type remedies!

Observations and such:

*Snow3* It's wonderful that you made this a forum so that all of the remedies stay up and can be referenced.

*Snow3* Also, that you allow discussion instead of "post and go." It allows not only for the sharing of information but fine tuning as well



Welcome home!
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Review of Visual Poetry  Open in new Window.
Review by Texas Belle Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
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I truly loved this graphic!

Observations and such:

*Snow3* The reader immediately understands the intention of the piece.

*Snow3* The choice of a single color when using various fonts made the piece not only stunning but elegant.

*Snow3* It's beautifully balanced!


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7
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Review of My Hiding Place  Open in new Window.
Review by Texas Belle Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This is a very nice retelling of a childhood experience. Though it is short you tell a great deal about yourself in a lovely concise manner. There are a couple of edit notes:

In the opening line you write, "Most younger kids..." This presents a weak start for the piece and given the spareness of the piece you need to start it with more formal language, "At a young age, most children..." The other note involves the last paragraph.

You have a marvelous opportunity to turn the tale back on itself, even though you admit to being all grown up you still find yourself hiding away. The last sentence has a very weak sound to it, "mostly an adult." If you are married with children you are an adult, at least for the moral of this story to work.

Keep writing.

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Review by Texas Belle Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
What a wonderfully playful piece! There are places where the rhythm drops off and causes the reader to "stumble" or stop in the flow. Look at the pattern established in the first stanza and bring the others around to match it. This could become a great children's piece!

Keep writing!

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Review of Time stand still  Open in new Window.
Review by Texas Belle Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a nice interpretation of a very difficult poetic form. It is unusual to use such a somber subject for the triolet but I realize that this was for a contest and so the pure form was not used.

You broke the rhythm pattern several times, especially in the second stanza, which causes a break in the emotional flow of the piece.

Keep writing.

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10
10
Review of Three's A Charm  Open in new Window.
Review by Texas Belle Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
You can't beat a good cat story! This was a very enjoyable read.

Your descriptions, both physical and personality, was wonderful. You allowed the reader to see the cats as intrigal parts of the story without becoming overly sacrene.

There were some problems with the construction, however, that cause some difficulty in following the plot. For example, you don't tell the reader that you are on vacation until the last paragraph. Up until that point the reader is left wondering why one cat is in the bush and the other on the path. Yes, you allude that the kitten is in another part: of the state? country? city?, but that lends unclarity when switching. It's almost as if the stories are three completely unrelated events, maybe the use of the stars between paragraphs added to the feeling of disconnectedness. Another convention used that slows down the flow is the incorrect use of ellipsis (...) for pause. In writing, commas, semicolons, and periods are used to indicate pauses not ellipsis which are used to indicate that something has been left out.

Oh, Jiminy, look how I've gone on! The story has really wonderful moments, especially that last image of the kitten sitting in Dianes lap, that have the makings of a major short story if you just fleshed it out more.

Keep writing!

{image;906216}

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Review of Three's A Charm  Open in new Window.
Review by Texas Belle Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
You can't beat a good cat story! This was a very enjoyable read.

Your descriptions, both physical and personality, was wonderful. You allowed the reader to see the cats as intrigal parts of the story without becoming overly sacrene.

There were some problems with the construction, however, that cause some difficulty in following the plot. For example, you don't tell the reader that you are on vacation until the last paragraph. Up until that point the reader is left wondering why one cat is in the bush and the other on the path. Yes, you allude that the kitten is in another part: of the state? country? city?, but that lends unclarity when switching. It's almost as if the stories are three completely unrelated events, maybe the use of the stars between paragraphs added to the feeling of disconnectedness. Another convention used that slows down the flow is the incorrect use of ellipsis (...) for pause. In writing, commas, semicolons, and periods are used to indicate pauses not ellipsis which are used to indicate that something has been left out.

Oh, Jiminy, look how I've gone on! The story has really wonderful moments, especially that last image of the kitten sitting in Dianes lap, that have the makings of a major short story if you just fleshed it out more.

Keep writing!

{image #906216}

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Review of Birmingham  Open in new Window.
Review by Texas Belle Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Very nicely written, it engaged the reader from the beginning gentle leading (tricking?) the reader into a false sense of security; just a nice little remembrance don't worry, dear reader. You strike the emotional sure and strong and it reverbrates to the end.

Yes, very nicely written.
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Review of Birmingham  Open in new Window.
Review by Texas Belle Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Very nicely written, it engaged the reader from the beginning gentle leading (tricking?) the reader into a false sense of security; just a nice little remembrance don't worry, dear reader. You strike the emotional sure and strong and it reverbrates to the end.

Yes, very nicely written.

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14
14
Review of Three's A Charm  Open in new Window.
Review by Texas Belle Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
You can't beat a good cat story! This was a very enjoyable read.

Your descriptions, both physical and personality, was wonderful. You allowed the reader to see the cats as intrigal parts of the story without becoming overly sacrene.

There were some problems with the construction, however, that cause some difficulty in following the plot. For example, you don't tell the reader that you are on vacation until the last paragraph. Up until that point the reader is left wondering why one cat is in the bush and the other on the path. Yes, you allude that the kitten is in another part: of the state? country? city?, but that lends unclarity when switching. It's almost as if the stories are three completely unrelated events, maybe the use of the stars between paragraphs added to the feeling of disconnectedness. Another convention used that slows down the flow is the incorrect use of ellipsis (...) for pause. In writing, commas, semicolons, and periods are used to indicate pauses not ellipsis which are used to indicate that something has been left out.

Oh, Jiminy, look how I've gone on! The story has really wonderful moments that have the makings of a major short story if you just fleshed it out more.

Keep writing.

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