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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/the-inkblotch
Review Requests: OFF
3 Public Reviews Given
3 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Each review will address the following points-- The PROSE: Was it easy to follow? The PLOT: Is it logical? Coherent? The CHARACTERS: Do they have a voice of their own? How do they develop? Grammar and technicalities are not given much emphasis on -- download a software to find those things for you, not me.
Favorite Genres
Fantasy, thriller, mystery
Least Favorite Genres
Romance, erotica
I will not review...
Anything with explicit sex. Goodbye.
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of Poor Muppett  Open in new Window.
Review by Aaron Zhu Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Oh my...

I will have to salute you for writing flash fiction -- it's definitely a tricky genre, and I think you've got a good handle of it, for the brevity that it demands.

But balance is important when it comes to details, and I'd actually suggest you expand on some things -- maybe hint more to the lizard beforehand, or how Muppet tends to lurk about the mulch. This way, when the reveal of Muppet's demise does roll around, it gives that "Whoaaaa" moment -- the reader sees all the pieces of the puzzle lock together. Without that element, however, the surprise feels forced, without any actual impact.

Otherwise, though, this is quite a nice read; short but clear. Good luck with your writing endeavors! :)
2
2
Review by Aaron Zhu Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Ahaha, I love it. The lines flow, the word choice doesn't feel forced by the meter, and the theme is quite charming. My only advice is to caution the use of exclaimation marks -- it shifts the tone quite drastically, and I feel in places like in lines 11 and 12, it just feels a bit too sudden. Those are just my thoughts, of course. That may have been your intention.

Nonetheless, I love the poem. Best wishes to your writing endeavors!
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