Ooh, I enjoyed this one as well as I did Message in a Bottle. You have a knack for creating an atmosphere that speaks to your audience. It is almost saturated with tension and emotion as the narrator drives her to the hotel. I like the added thought of Hotel California being cursed and giving him a peaceful feeling. Well done.
Such a beautifully written story, it held me captive until the end. I felt like I needed to find out why he was a cad, almost as if I was Lucy reading the note. I think you did a great job incorporating the movie titles; I even got excited when I knew them haha. I love the description of the ring, it sounds positively exquisite. Good job, I hope to get a chance to read more from you.
There are a lot of great questions within this, but what I would like to have seen are some of your thoughts and answers to these questions as well. What are you thoughts on why others think it is okay to manipulate people for their own gain, or why we are all so different. I think that will a little more depth and dimension to this one.
The last three lines in the second stanza are a little difficult to understand. As is the line The Dove showed him this. How did the dove show Stone his place and value to the other elements of nature? Was it just from the tune it sang?
I did enjoy reading this,I think it was well written. Keep writing, you're good.
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