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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/themike
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10 Public Reviews Given
10 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by The Mike Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Though I'm not religious myself, I like this poem and see a universal appeal in its self-reflection on the human trait of never being satisfied, always yearning and seeking, and in a sense damaging and harming ourselves in the process when we could instead be glad of what we have. Sometimes we don't have something we truly need, but for many of us the dissatisfaction is essentially of our own making, and stanza three is a succinct and splendid way of showing this. This builds to an acceptance in the final verse, and even that is couched in terms of 'maybe', clearly from a narrator who understands their own nature and the likelihood of once again falling for their own old tricks. Good job.
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Review of Stay  Open in new Window.
Review by The Mike Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
I think this is a beautiful poem, with a palpable sense of longing in its language. The rhythm and repetition adds a vein of desperation throughout. The twist of the final line suggests an inevitability to the tragedy of the story, and ties the whole scene together. I'm not entirely sure about using the final line in every single verse, since reading over it so many times feels to me to break up the flow of the narrator's plaintive cries, but the repetition does add power to that final line in the final stanza.
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