This is absolutely right. Most people today, not just teenagers, are so intoxicated by their right to speak, that they don't even realize the facts. Or perhaps they never cared to listen.
I see people everywhere who are exactly like those teenagers. This piece is the best I've read in the past few months, at least.
I have no complaints, and I see nothing I would dare change. A perfect job, truly.
This was an interesting tale that I think a lot of people can relate to. Waking up and finding everything you remember is completely different is a terrifying and suffocating feeling.
I am glad that this story had a happy ending.
Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to read this piece. Good work.
I took the advice you gave in your e-mail and came to check out this poem. It is very relaxing, and I can easily picture the stars and sunrise above and beyond my own home.
With the proper music, reading like this can produce a shockingly calm and quiet atmosphere, almost like what you would want to go to sleep to.
Thank you for giving me the opportunity to read this piece. Nice work. :)
I found this poem to be very cute and rather uplifting. I have a bit of a smile on my face after reading it, and that's a very precious gift to give these days.
Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to read this piece.
I can relate to this poem. I think alot of people can.
It can be heartbreaking to think of what you would do for someone, and see that they aren't even aware of you. I think you did a very good job of communicating what (seemingly) is in your heart. A poem like this, shown to the one you love, might change the tides of fate.
It's no secret to myself that I've always preferred the dark side of things. It's no secret to you or anyone who reads this that that side of a person is the one this poem will appeal to.
Technical issues: I had none. It was excellently written, no grammatical errors to speak of.
Technical feats: Plenty are here. The rhythm of this poem is perfect, and that says a lot coming from someone like myself. I usually have trouble picking up the "flow" of a poem, and if I can't find the "flow" I usually do not understand it. This was presented in an obvious and straightforward manner; I liked it.
I also like the older style in which it was written, such phrases as, "Stood set against the valley green,"
"For out around ran an army dark," and "And a river of red on earth did flow." I love how you chose to leave out the word, “of” in “Stood set against the valley green.”
Very well written, I shall look at your portfolio sometime in hopes of more pieces such as this.
I like the style with which this was written. I wouldn't mind reading an entire novel with this sort of overtone. It was very interesting and left me wanting to hear the rest of the story.
This was pretty good, and I basically agree with what you're saying. However, there is one thing I noticed.
You wrote:
"People need to learn how to be open-minded about things and learn to accept the way that other people live."
I think this is a perfect opportunity to listen to your own advice. You have to understand how importan religious views are to certain groups of people. They're valued above all else. Even when a religion tells people that the way other people are living is terrible, they believe everything they've been taught.
I personally am not a religious person, which is probably one reason I see *no* problem with gay marriage.
Quite a dark read. A very obvious and very depressing overtone supplements the sad montage of feelings; one can't help but worry of the inspiration in which such things are born.
Very expressive.
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