I love this poem, it is so true to how I personally feel myself at times. I think others could relate to it also.
This poem made me feel very sad, it was very in depth and even overwhelming in some places.
I think that you did a really good job with the structure of this poem, it flows really well. It is something that will stay in my mind for a time to come. I believe that it is important to draw the reader's attention in ways in which they can relate to it. The content/ subject matter of this poem reminds of being betrayed in a relationship and the feelings of being betrayed and alone afterwards. I think you conveyed this in so many different ways, including the flowing movement of the poem. And also the rhyming, which isn't always the most important thing in a poem, but I think that in this case it was the best thing for it.
There was one part that I felt seemed a little too long and didn't really mix well with the following line and that was in the second stanza:
Every time I sit, and see you in the corner of my eye
I'm wishing that time won't pass by
I feel that the first line is much longer than the second and it doesn't seem to fit just right. Other than that I think that you did a really excellent job at displaying emotion and feeling within this poem.
Great job, keep up the good work and welcome to writing.com
Keep writing and write well :)
I think that this story tells it how it really is. I don't know much about this subject, but all I know is that you are able to capture an amazing story.
You are also able to capture it through highly complex and compelling characters, ones that captivate the reade and make them see what the story is all about.
I was unable to find any mistakes in this piece and that's a good sign, congrats on such a fine and wonderful story!
Continue to write, you may write well, write well and you will write again!
Wow, such a beautifully sad, sorrowful tale. It nearly made me cry by the end of it. I have to admit that I didn't fully understand what was meant by the note at the beginning, until I got to the part that involved it.
I think that this story really touches a person, it tells a tale of love, loss and hatred. I think you told an emotional story from the side of the one in pain and darkness.
You did this extremely well, so well done.
The structure of this piece really made it what it was, it indeed makes us see what love can do in the instance of the psycho ex-boyfriend and also the love of a sister.
I like the way that this was put together, very nicely done, you captured my attention completely and made me compelled to finish it and write such a long review.
There was a strong motif in this story about letting one's spirit to soar, to be free, again by the ex and the victims sister. I think that you used this very well and I encourage you to keep up the good work.
Continue to write, you may write well, write well and you will write again!
Interesting concept there... I liked the way in which it was structured, was it meant to be like a mini-script? It is worded through camera techniques and the whatnot, but hey, it was something a little different than I'm used to and that's saying something. Keep up the good work, brilliant stuff, needs some remodelling, perfect spelling, comprehension (emotive language) and some punctuation needs work.
Great storyline though, ingenuius in a way. Well done!
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