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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/throwaway309
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6 Public Reviews Given
6 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I'll review your stuff if you want. Don't expect anything amazing though. I'm really just some random. Sometimes, though, you want to know how the randos will react.
I'm good at...
Keeping on top of my 0 review requests.
Favorite Genres
Honestly, if you are gonna pay 1000+ gp for some random guy to look at your work, I'll review anything.
Public Reviews
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Review by throwaway Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
This seems like an incomplete story, so I won't bother to comment on the writing quality. Instead, here's a few quick tips about writing in chunks:

1. It's always better to show, not tell. Just saying things outright is more concise, but it's generally worse for the flow of the story. The problem is that when writing something one or two paragraphs at a time, there isn't enough space to show everything you want to show at once. Solution. My solution is to keep an off-site document keeping track of all the information I plan to put in the story. This allows me to spread important information across many separate entries.

2. As time goes by, your writing ability and quality improve. This can become problematic early in your career when improvement happens quickly, or if you take a long time between entries. Either of these could create a large difference between one entry and the one after it. Solution. rewrite the beginning chapters after you finish writing. I find this makes transitions between writing quality much less jarring. don't do this before you write the finale, as you'll probably just have to do it later.
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Review by throwaway Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
What an idea for a story! The title (Forty Shades of Green) is an obvious spoof of Fifty Shades of Grey. I can't say any more on that angle though, because I never actually read fifty shades of grey. Also, having a short story about a quick burst of luck leaves me green with envy at your ingenuity. The only problem I see is that there's a gaping gap where you could have put more greens, like Forest green seaweed snacks.
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Review by throwaway Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Great idea to compile all of them into one article, instead of waisting portfolio space or reader's time. I enjoy the visuals provided, and I like your one about the Sicilian. he really does use 'inconceivable' to much,h doesn't he? It's inconceivable for so many things to be inconceivable, isn't it?

Inconceivable.
- the scicilian
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Review by throwaway Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (2.0)
Why is the start in English but the rest not? Yo entiendo, pero no tan bien como puedo entendar Ingles, y la mayoridad de tu adiencia va a ver tu titulo en Ingles y no leer. Quireo que mi espanol estuvo Bien alli, pero sabo que eso no va a ser la realidad.
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