It's too bad many men don't know how to treat a woman. This is an excellent piece. In words and music, I can feel you exasperation with whoever the boyfriend was. Enjoyed it very much!
As far as I can tell you have done an admirable job with this poem. I really am not competent to review the work as to its form, as I am not familiar with the sestina form. I will say that the poem honors and glorifies our Lord, and in that way is great!
The poem is interesting, and a very enjoyable read. She sounds like a strong little girl, and she needs to be kept strong.
The form of the poem is interesting, and you handled it well.
This poem is obviously about the aftermath of an adulterous affair that lasted some months. The first stanza can suggest nothing else. The obvious theological reference to "fruit from a forbidden tree" bears this out.
(In the last line, the word "to" is needed before "repent.")
In the next stanza, it becomes obvious that the one being addressed is the one cheated on. All the love not regretted is in the past now. At this point, the author is dead (the soul has left the body).
I find the third stanza confusing. I would think that at the point of the kiss and the Father's forgiveness, the music would be playing, and the birds would be singing, etc. The way it is written is unnatural. Where is the rejoicing that the couple is back together, and the Father has forgiven?
This story is interesting. I wonder if the author, while he was working on the story, was trying to decide the whole time whether or not to kill the main character. Basicly, practically the whole story took place in Sir William's mind. The twist at the end was a nasty one, but it could have gone either way; killed or not killed.
This story took my breath away! The poor girl, a victim of rotten circustances, Sarah falls asleep exhausted while trying to concentrate on her homework through the fighting going on around her. What a difference a night makes! I would not have thought the change in Tom possible. Great story!
My first thought was, "It's too bad Marrisa didn't kill Geoff before the damage was done to her."
I was not at all unhappy that it Geoff that died. This is a brief story that packs quite a punch! The
author has done an excellent job of portraying his characters.
My emotions are raw from readiing this. I cannot imagine seeing a dying girl in this kind of setting.
The author showed herself to be a compassionate person in her handling of the situation both during
and after the crisis. It shows up also in her writing. It is very easy for me to comprehend the emotions
involved here. I lost my mother in a car wreck.
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/thunderspeech2
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.08 seconds at 2:27pm on Nov 19, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
