I like this. It paints a vivd picture and is very readable. It makes you want to read it through...and actually finish it. It doesn't go for the cheap rhyme and say something that it doesn't actually mean to say.
It says exactly what it means.
I have to tell you. After all the sentimental stuff i've seen...your poem is a breath of fresh air.
Completely honest and bright.
It's not exactly perfect...nothing is...you could work on rhythm a little. But I love it.
You have influenced me to have the courage to put my more honest and less sentimental efforts on here.
I am eager to see your other work.
I am new here.
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