Beautiful, beautiful poem. I was clicking on the random review button and when I bumped into this, i was just about to click the review button to leave to a different article, but my eyes slowly started drifting through the poem and I became engulfed. So lovely, and heartbreaking. I'm glad I did read it.
Well that was quite interesting and I can't deny your little lie caught my attention. thumps up for that! Lol The way Frank approached the kid scared me and I'm glad it was all unreal. You have a great sense of humor and that made your story even more fascinating.
Only thing I would suggest is in the beginning switch 'Hi there!' to something else like "Hello!" or 'Caityln!" because at first i thought he was looking at her in person until later on you brought up that they're on the phone. That's really not a big issue, but it gives us the correct imagination from the start.
The story is great and I became intrigued! There's a few characters that I found and that confused me from the story. I do not think they were intentionally put there, but eliminating them will make the story so much easier to understand. Also, you need to work on your grammar and a few of the dialogue. Besides that, I think you're ahead to a fascinating story.
There's a lump in my throat this instant and I want to cry. Your poem has truly touched me deeply and left me speechless. If this happened to you, I am sorry for your loss. Some things in this life are unnoticeable until they're gone. A sad yet inspiring poem. You did an impressive job in writing it. Thank you for sharing.
I really like the beginning because you did a very well describing the setting and the emotions. You did a great job of revealing the sadness and anger that people go through when they're put in this type of situation. One thing that distracted me a little is the dialogue. I was a little confused who was talking and there's a few missing comas here and there.
Other than that, you did an excellent job and I enjoyed reading it! Thank you for sharing!
This is story is absolutely thrilling! I was captivated from the start, and the further I read the more my fear for the girl grew.
The ending confused me a bit and I still do not understand it. Was the man actually trying to kidnap the girl and suddenly he changed his mind or was he actually helping her?
Whatever it is, a good lesson is revealed through this. This is a great write. Thank you for sharing!
A lump formed in my throat until the end. The way you wrote this is so heart wrenching and I could feel what the narrator feels. At first I thought the son had died and I became confused for a bit, but this did not loose my interest in the story.
This was so heartening in the beginning, tremendously intense in the middle, puzzling and thrilling close to the end, but the complete end had me laughing like crazy. Wow, I really really enjoyed reading this. Something different than I've read before and I was gripped from the start!
This poem deeply sank into my heart as I can relate to it. I really enjoyed reading every single verse. Thanks for sharing such a beautiful poem with us.
Wow, this is a beautiful and inspiring write! The only thing is that I was hoping the text would have been a little larger, so it can be easier for others to read. Other than that, you a did a great job. Very well.
Btw, I am new in here and the first thing I viewed was this article. I'm looking for more posts from you. :)
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/timaashorty
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 3:10am on Nov 22, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
