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2,653 Public Reviews Given
4,011 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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176
176
Review of YOUR SILHOUETTE  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Star*Thanks for entering
Rising Stars Shining Brighter Open in new Window. (E)
Contest for existing Rising Stars...Monthly award of "Shining Star" status.
#1215871 by Tornado Day Author IconMail Icon
and good luck.

*Star*Overall Impressions:
I like the presentation, the color and use of writingml for your poem that you have.

Very romantic poem.
Your feelings and honesty comes through with each line.

My favorite lines:
'A vision my eyes can not erase
A dream my heart will forever chase'

*Star*Suggestions
You start this with a link to another users name...is this dedicated to them??

For you my heart hold so much
I'd change that to;
For you my heart holds so much

In line 19 you do not need the space between some and how.

The thoughts of you get me through each day
Cut the.


*Star*Keep writing!
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177
177
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies. "THE DROP-OFF BOX " Open in new Window.

My Overall impression:
Your title, rating and genres are appropriate.

I like the way you have the last line of each stanza.
Your thoughts on nature/life are good.

I like this part the best:
'And Two destined souls depart without a Kiss -
Into the absolute Darkness'

Suggestions/Errors:
Watch your use of filler words.
Especially the & and.

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
178
178
Review of The Victors  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies. "THE DROP-OFF BOX " Open in new Window.

My Overall impression:
Your rating, title and genres are good.
I like that you put this in bold and adds to the mood of the poem.

Very strong poem on war.
Your poem flows well and your rhymes work good together.

You show both sides that a victor in a war must feel.

My favorite line:
'Over and over they'll hear them again,
crys for mercy not drowned by the wind'
(These lines really help in making your point.)

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy

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179
179
Review of Psalm 18:1  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies. "THE DROP-OFF BOX " Open in new Window.

My Overall impression:
Your rating, title and genres are all good.

Great 1st line, it makes the reader want to find out more on what you loss and lead you back.

Great story, thanks for sharing.

Suggestions/Errors:
Para one, last line, I'd put a comma after God.

para two typo
rumaging
rummaging

para 7
"go ahead margie, have faith that God
Capitalize Margie.

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
180
180
Review of Voiceless  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Reading* Overall Impressions:
Your title fits well.
Your rating is appropriate.

Very creative story.
I like the comparison you use with the popcorn.

I also like the descriptions that you use to describe her surroundings on
her way to the store.

*Idea* Suggestions:
Add some genres, they help your items get exposure.
fantasy, drama, horror/scary would work

Keep writing,
Tammy

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181
181
Review of Fleeting  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Reading* Overall Impressions:
Your title, rating and genres are good.

Great description of the house!

Your main character is very likable.

*Idea* Suggestions:
If he likes it, that’s fine. It’s his choice.”
You need starting quotation marks in front of if.

The transition at the end where she realizes she is in the trailer is a little subtle..I had to re-read the end to get what happened.
Maybe you could have the beginning of the story in italics(the dreaming part)...or something to help with the transition more.

Keep writing,
Tammy

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182
182
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies. "THE DROP-OFF BOX " Open in new Window.

My Overall impression:
You show the mundane work office well.
You use some great words to get your message across.

Suggestions/Errors:
I would put a title to this.

Instead of other, I'd make the static item short story.

para one
Schlick schlick schlick
try
Schlick, schlick, schlick
(same in para four)

para two
pasty skinned, Jiggly middle
try
pasty skinned, jiggly middle

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy

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183
183
Review of How to forget?  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies. "THE DROP-OFF BOX " Open in new Window.

My Overall impression:
Sorry for your loss.
Great tribute to your son.

I know that time doesn't always heal as they say..

Your rating, title and genres are appropriate.

Suggestions/Errors:
Well, Let me say having another one!
Just kept me from going insane.
try
Well, let me say having another one
Just kept me from going insane!

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy

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184
184
Review of The Best I Can Do  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies.
THE DROP-OFF BOX  Open in new Window. (13+)
Monthly newbie contest.
#530577 by Tammy~Catchin Up~ Author IconMail Icon


My Overall impression:
Your title and rating are appropriate.

Your descriptions are good.
The imagery is good, I could easily picture a woman with hurt and pain.

great line:
'Beads of red under translucent white'

Suggestions/Errors:
I want to know why....??

Add some genres to your item, they will get you more exposure.

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
185
185
Review of Blue Eyes  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies. "THE DROP-OFF BOX " Open in new Window.

My Overall impression:
Your title and rating are appropriate.

This feels like a prose with a little poetry in it.

I like your descriptions at the beginning.

Suggestions/Errors:
This leaves the reader wanting to know more....I think you should expand and set this up more.
Briefly show the couple, the love, the death and what leads to the strong words/ending you have.

I'd change the static item from other to Prose.

I' add a couple more genres.
maybe death, personal or love/romance

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy

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186
186
Review of Grace  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies. "THE DROP-OFF BOX " Open in new Window.

My Overall impression:
Your title and rating are appropriate.

Very nice first sonnet.
You do it well.

Suggestions/Errors:
add some genres

I'd change the beginning of a couple of the lines to avoid the repetition of and.

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy

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187
187
Review of The Greatest Gift  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies.
THE DROP-OFF BOX  Open in new Window. (13+)
Monthly newbie contest.
#530577 by Tammy~Catchin Up~ Author IconMail Icon


My Overall impression:
Your title is good and the rating is appropriate.

Your beginning is strong and makes the reader want to continue reading..

Suggestions/Errors:
Add some genres, they will help your item get exposure.
any of these would work:
fantasy, love/romance, philosophy, death

Maybe set this up a bit more on who and what the girl has lost.
This would show more why she would wish for what she did..

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
188
188
Review of Inside My Bag  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Reading* Overall Impressions:
Your rating, title and genres are good.

Very honest writing here about yourself.
I did something like this for a group thing and I know that it was really hard to do.

*Idea* Suggestions:
Neither my family does
This line in para one is a little confusing.
try;
Even better than my family knows me ...or combine it with the sentence before.


*Star* Keep writing,
Tammy

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189
189
Review of Caged  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
*Reading* Overall Impressions:
Your rating and title are good.
I love butterflies and the freedom that they represent.

Your poem captures being caged well.

*Idea* Suggestions:
You have two lines with ?, but no other punctuation..I'd remove the ? or add more punctuation where needed.

Add some genres, they help your items get exposure.

You might include a brief explanation of the form.

*Star* Keep writing,
Tammy

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190
190
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies.
THE DROP-OFF BOX  Open in new Window. (13+)
Monthly newbie contest.
#530577 by Tammy~Catchin Up~ Author IconMail Icon


My Overall impression:
Your title, rating and genres are all appropriate.
I like your intro for this, it really made me want to find out more about you.

I think most will identify with your feelings here...we all have something that we hide within or hide from.
We all wear some kind of mask.

I like how you use the two side of the river to show the two yous.
Very creative way to do this.

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy

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191
191
Review of Just For Today  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies.
THE DROP-OFF BOX  Open in new Window. (13+)
Monthly newbie contest.
#530577 by Tammy~Catchin Up~ Author IconMail Icon


My Overall impression:
Great title and I like how you start each stanza with it!

Isn't this every woman's wish!!?!

Great ending~~I love it.

Suggestions/Errors:
Instead of having other as your static item, you should have poetry.
You could add one more genre, personal or women's would work well.

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy

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192
192
Review of Heaven's Daughter  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies. "THE DROP-OFF BOX " Open in new Window.

My Overall impression:
Great title and the rating is appropriate.

Very pretty poem.
I love this line:
'Tears like diamonds dripping, dropping.'

Your poem flows well and the rhymes work good together.

Suggestions/Errors:
You could add one more genre, nature would be good.
They help your item get exposure.

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy

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193
193
Review of Dont wake me  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies.
THE DROP-OFF BOX  Open in new Window. (13+)
Monthly newbie contest.
#530577 by Tammy~Catchin Up~ Author IconMail Icon


My Overall impression:
Great first poem!!
Hope it's not your last.

Your poem is full of emotions and feelings.
Very romantic poem!
I like your ending stanza with the whispers of love!

Suggestions/Errors:
You have a comma or period after every line..I don't think you need them all and removing them would help the overall flow of the poem.
ex
Feelings wash over me,
I cannot describe.
I close my eyes,
I fall deep inside.
try
Feelings wash over me
I cannot describe.
Closing my eyes
I fall deep inside.

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy

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194
194
Review of The Journey  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies.
THE DROP-OFF BOX  Open in new Window. (13+)
Monthly newbie contest.
#530577 by Tammy~Catchin Up~ Author IconMail Icon


My Overall impression:
Your rating, title and genres are good.

Very sad, but powerful and hopeful read.
Your suffering and fear comes through strong.
Your strength is tangible!

Very honest writing.
Thanks for sharing.

Suggestions/Errors:
Have you thought of expanding on this..maybe short novel or inspirational bio?
Sounds like a story worth telling.

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
195
195
Review of Motherhood  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies. "THE DROP-OFF BOX " Open in new Window.

My Overall impression:
Your title and genres are good.
Your love for your child comes through very strong in this.

Suggestions/Errors:
Maybe expand a little more on your thoughts/feelings regarding motherhood.

I think I would change the static item...make this a prose instead of having it as a short story.

used to be that i'd be awake at
capitalize I'd

Watch your use of words that are just not needed.
ex;
In line three you could cut now, and in line five you could cut but.
Watch your repetition of words.
ex
You are irritated that you have only slept for three hours, that you had to literally drag yourself to an upright position and throw yourself out of bed and into your slippers. You want
(Very distracting.)

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy

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196
196
Review of 'til rain pours  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies.
THE DROP-OFF BOX  Open in new Window. (13+)
Monthly newbie contest.
#530577 by Tammy~Catchin Up~ Author IconMail Icon


My Overall impression:
Your characters are very likable.

Your story goes really fast.

Your rating, title and genres are good.

I like the storyline you have, I just think it needs to be developed a bit more.

Suggestions/Errors:
You beginning is a little weird...I kept waiting for you to go back to this girl in the rain that made you think of the story you tell. What happened with her...?

Watch your tenses throughout...you go from past to present.
Even as you go back to tell the past story...at times you tell it in present tense.
You might want to put the story that you are remembering in italics for less confusion.

There is a lot of errors with your wording and the grammar~I think you need a really good edit on this.
Here are a few things I noticed:

She is starring at an image assembling an angel
staring

on her slim shoulders, but she got a boyfriend named Jed
try
on her slim shoulders, but she has a boyfriend named Jed

The two of them got really drunk
try
The two got really drunk

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy

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197
197
Review of Without You  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies. "THE DROP-OFF BOX " Open in new Window.

My Overall impression:
Very pretty and sad poem.
I could feel the pain and hurt of this lone person.

Your rating, title and genres are appropriate.
Your poem flows well and your rhymes work good together.

Suggestions/Errors:
I am not familiar with the form of poetry..maybe include a brief note on the form for your readers.

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy

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198
198
Review of The Roles We Play  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies.
THE DROP-OFF BOX  Open in new Window. (13+)
Monthly newbie contest.
#530577 by Tammy~Catchin Up~ Author IconMail Icon


My Overall impression:
Your rating, title and genres are appropriate.

Our society does have many gender rules and I agree they are getting broken more and more!

I like the poem and it fits your story well.
I like the last two lines the best.

Suggestions/Errors:
para five
This is a little confusing:
dancing class, which is when, did things go wrong

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
199
199
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies.
THE DROP-OFF BOX  Open in new Window. (13+)
Monthly newbie contest.
#530577 by Tammy~Catchin Up~ Author IconMail Icon


My Overall impression:
lol~I love it!
Great read.
Love the humor.

My kind of dreams....until the part about not fitting into the pants!
Yuck all good things have a little evil!

I like the color you chose for the poem.
Your title, rating and genres are good.
Your rhymes work well.

My favorite part:
Chocolate covered bon-bons,
are keeping me awake!

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy

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200
200
Review of Uncle Arthur  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies. "THE DROP-OFF BOX " Open in new Window.

My Overall impression:
I enjoyed your story and the way you tell it.
Great ending thought you leave the readers with.

Suggestions/Errors:
I'd space between the paras and the dialog..it just helps the reader and it looks better!

para three
They would leave after and hour, but after a
typo and should be an

and pad for a little grave and a
paid
*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy

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