I like this piece because just about anyone who has had a relationship (especially in high school) can attest to this! It's true that when a couple is first dating they are usually putting on a front (maybe not even consciously) to do everything possible to not screw up the relationship, if they even want to be in the relationship that is. I think another stanza before the ending maybe about the relationship ending and a rebirth occurring bringing the (hypothetical) subject of the poem through a healing process to achieve what is mentioned in your last phrase. Overall good job, it rhymed very well!
Hi Steven, I think you give a very good rundown for someone in the market to buy a laptop. I think bullet points would work better visually in the "What to Look For" section, where you could list out Memory and Hard Drive space, and I would suggest processor size (GHz) and video card size (for gamers).
I agree with your approach of using real-world setting for fantasy stories, it allows for the real-world reader to better connect to the setting and thus the story. There are a few spelling errors I noticed that you'll want to fix. As far as your newsletter-aspirations, you might want to submit this to the Fantasy newsletter editors for consideration!
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 4:23pm on Nov 05, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
