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Review by Tomk6103 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Great story, easy to read, almost could feel being there. I would change where you used abbreviations, (i.e. apt) spell it out. Also I believe the rule is numbers under 10 are spelled out.
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Review of The First Trip  Open in new Window.
Review by Tomk6103 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
I am not one to judge as I am new at this. I liked your story, and can understand the fears of a mother for her child. It is hard to let them go, and not fear for their safety.

The only thing I would suggest it that you space between paragraphs. I did enjoy the story.
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